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June 23, 2020

Breaking My Broke-Ass Mentality

I’ve watched several news specials and read articles about rich people. One thing I’ve discovered about them, is something I pride myself on – many of them are cheap as fuck.

I never really thought much of our similarities until I worked this one customer service job that had a good number of rich people come through. I got to the point where I could almost tell when someone was going to plop down an American Express black card.

Before they showed their card, they would literally ask for every discount under the sun – I mean, AAA, AARP, the sun is shining in Southern California, just anything – before buying the cheapest thing offered. I thought to myself, “How are you trying to save $10 when you spend at least $250,000 a year on that heavy ass card?”

Like, the time wasted going through a list of discounts not offered is worth more than the discount you would have gotten had there been one. Then again, most of them were men, so maybe they were just happy to get a little extra time in my company.

But anyway, after a while it dawned on me that I’m exactly the same way.  But unlike them, when I’ve tried to get the price down on something, it’s not because I didn’t want to pay more, it’s because I literally didn’t have any more money. Like if the price is $120 and I’m trying to get it for $100, it’s because $100 is all I got.  

At least that’s how it started. Then it just became a habit so that even if I had more, I either thought about other things I could do with the extra, or I simply wanted to wade in the high of getting the deal. But usually it’s because I just didn’t have the money.

It all started for me when I was in high school. I would buy fast food without getting the drink. That would save me like a dollar. Even to this day, I rarely get a drink with my fast food orders (except at Thai food places, I like to have a Thai tea with my meal), I’ll just drink water. It’s funny ‘cause now I rarely drink soda, even when it’s free, I still choose water. Sugar causes wrinkles, you know. My youthful appearance thanks me.

From fast food it just sprouted off to any and everything. I only buy clothes on sale. I will search the internet for hours over several days to get the cheapest airfare, hotel, car rental or just a car period. I often do my own hair so I don’t have to pay for it. I volunteer for events so I can attend for free. Oh, and I return shit if I feel guilty after purchasing.  I’m just constantly looking for ways to spend less money.

Now that I’m on unemployment and that extra $600 a week is set to end soon, and the job market is tough, it’s kinda got me scrambling. I’ve found myself trying to spend it wisely (like reduce my debt) so that when it’s not around anymore, it won’t be as hard on me.

Then as I was thinking about buying some things that I want, like workout clothes, because I’ve gained like eight pounds during this quarantine. That’s in addition to the 15 I gained around the holidays at the end of 2019.

Sorry, got a little sidetracked there, but as I was saying as I was calculating the costs of the workout clothes, against my budget, I realized with all the money I’m throwing at my credit card debt, I wouldn’t have enough money for my workout clothes.  That’s when it dawned on me – do I want to keep up this broke-ass mentality? The mentality where I’m always trying to make do with so little. Or do I need to focus on making more money so I can afford the things I want and need?

Then earlier today I watched an old Instagram live post where the speaker was saying the exact same thing. It was total confirmation. I need to focus on earning enough income that will allow me to pay down my credit card debt at the rate that I want, and buy the workout clothes.

Since I can’t do both right now, I’ve decided to go with the workout clothes. I mean I’m still going to pay down my credit card debt, just not at the rate that I would have been. And it’s okay, because workout clothes are a noble purchase. It’s important that I start exercising more, because I’m going to need to stay healthy if I want to make more money.  

I’m turning over a new leaf. No more broke-ass mentality for me.

Posted In: Career + Goals, On My MInd · Tagged: being broke, debt, money mentality, money problems, paying debt, saving money, setting money goals, shopping

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