Fashion is definitely a form of beauty. It’s also a form of self-expression. I try to make my style about a bit of both. I used to really be into fashion, especially when magazines where more of a thing. I’d flip through magazines, get inspired, then try to replicate not so much a look I saw, but the mood of a look, if that makes sense. I mean I guess I wanted to recreate the look as well, to the extent that I could – those clothes in magazines are tre expensive. But there’s also a mood that goes along with each look: is it giving me fun, playful, studious, sexy, sophisticated? That’s more so the aspect of fashion that I gleaned from magazines then tried to project with my style. Those things need not come at a high price.
There was a time when I had really good style. A time when I would even get compliments on my style. But now, it’s trailed off somewhere, and I don’t know where it’s gone.
A look at the clothes in my closet is so uninspiring. So much so that a couple weeks ago I decided I was going to do something about it. I went shopping. I have to admit, that trip to the mall was pretty great, and that’s saying something, because I’m not really into shopping. As a big girl, shopping has always been frustrating for me. I remember when I was in high school, trying to find outfits for parties or school dances was torture because so many stores only went up to size 12. I was a size 14. That relegated me to the women’s department where I tried my best to put something youthful together out of their matronly selections.
Shopping was never a one and done experience for me. I could never just go into a store, find something and be out. No, I had to go to several stores before eventually settling on anything halfway decent that fit. When all else failed, I wound up at this plus-sized store I found in the Hawthorne mall (not Lane Bryant). I don’t remember its name, but I hated going to a store strictly for fat people. I did, however, take some solace in the fact that the clothes were at least trendy. By the time I got to college, probably even before, I stopped shopping there. To this day, I still don’t shop at the plus size stores. I only shop at places where skinny people can go too. Like if you have my pants in a size 18, you better have them in a size 2, too, then and only then I’ll buy them. Judge me however you wish.
Things have changed immensely over the past 20 years. Plus sizes are now more plentiful, but they still can be hard to find. However, I am happy to say that was not the case on this particular mall outing. Ya girl had choices, and there were sales. I’m talkin’ ev-er-y-where: 40 percent off at The Gap, an extra 50 percent off the sale rack at Banana Republic (that’s always there, but hey). I was so motivated by my finds that the next day I also hit up Old Navy, TJ Maxx and Ross, and came away with a few more things.
Then I got home. And days went by. And I saw my credit card statement. And I thought to myself, do I really want this shit, need this shit? Are these clothes truly an example of my style, or an impulse buy? Furthermore, does it even make sense to keep this stuff considering the tight budget I’m on?
Earlier this year during the summer, I bought some Sam Edelman sandals I’ve been coveting for at least five years, but couldn’t afford. I don’t think I’ve ever paid more than $60 for shoes, and these were usually $180. When Christmas 2020 came around, I saw them on sale online, and after applying a coupon that I scoured from the web, I got them down to $83. Still, that was a lot of money for sandal’s I’d hardly even wear, so I let them sit in my shopping cart until they disappeared. When summer rolled around, they went on sale again. This time $120. I didn’t want to pass them up again, so I bought them. Have yet to wear them.
And therein lies my dilemma. I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure it out whether or not I should keep the clothes. I’ve worn two of the pieces already, so I have to keep those, but the rest is fair game to return.
Here are the items I bought by the stores they came from. Should they stay or should they go?
The Gap
Banana Republic
TJ Maxx
Ross
Old Navy
Leave a Reply