Today, while looking around on YouTube, I came across this video about why people spend so much at Trader Joe’s, which reminded me that I wrote a piece about shopping at Trader Joe’s back in January that I never posted. So no time like the present.
While the video seems to suggest that people shop there for the friendly workers and unique finds, I maintain that shopping at Trader Joe’s also conveys status.
Be sure to check out the link to the video above, and here’s my two cents…
Lately, this idea of adulting has really been on my mind, primarily, I think, because I don’t think I’m doing it…I was going to say not doing it very well, but one could argue I’m not really doing it at all.
Though to be honest, I’m not quite sure what it is – this whole “adulting” thing. I have some idea, but it’s a newer concept. So new in fact, that the 2010 MS Word software I’m using keeps putting a red squiggly line under it every time I type the word. I’ll look it up later – the computer I’m currently typing on doesn’t have the internet, but I guess the gist of it is doing stuff adults are expected to do like buy a house, pay bills, have dinner parties, have a job that pays decent money and the like.
Well, I pay bills.
Even if I may not meet the criteria of “adulting” given the above standards, that hasn’t stopped me from wishing about, dreaming about, oh and watching other people do adulting type stuff on social media.
One of the adulting things that I love to do is go grocery shopping. I’m not a big fan of shopping in general, like for clothes and shoes, but grocery shopping is kinda, sigh, I hate this word but – cathartic. Wait no, it’s more than cathartic. It’s more like it makes me hopeful in a sense – hopeful for the meals that I can create, the snacks I can munch on while writing or watching TV. I go to the grocery store and I get inspired. Though I must admit, it can also be a bit stressful, because there is a lot of stuff there I can’t afford.
A trip to the grocery store for me is not just a matter of seeing what I want and throwing it in my cart. It’s a first-make-a-list trip. It’s a trip that requires me to have previously done some detective work, which means going through the circulars – both the ones that come in the mail and online – to see what’s on sale at each store. It’s a trip that compels me to determine how many stores I’m going to have to hit up to get all the deals, and to map out the best route to each one. It’s a trip that requires me to pass up items that I want like grapes, for example, when they are $2.99 a pound, because I need to buy items that last longer like generic oatmeal and chicken on sale. As extra as all that may seem, I actually kinda love it.
Unrestricted grocery shopping, however, is actually the goal. For me, that’s a sign that you’ve made it – when you can go to the grocery store and purchase anything you want, whether or not it’s on the list, regardless of how much it costs, just simply because you want it. I look forward to that day, but in the meantime, I’m fine with getting excited when the local circulars arrive in the mail, and seeing what’s on sale.
Even though I can’t shop like I want, that hasn’t stopped me from watching other people on social media who seem to have an endless supply of cash to spend at the grocery store. And not just any grocery shopping, the people who I’ve been tuning into lately show off hauls from Trader Joe’s.
Now, personally, I don’t look at Trader Joe’s as a grocery store, it’s more of a specialty market. I mean, I don’t think you could do your complete shopping there. I think even if you spend a lot of money there, you would still have to go to a store like Ralph’s or Albertson’s to get everything you need, and yet that inconvenient truth has not been a deterrent.
The last time I got paid, I hightailed it to Trader Joe’s right after work with a ready-made list composed two days prior. Of course my haul was nothing like the ones I admire on social media which probably cost upwards of $200 – those girls go all out. One lady said she drives an hour to Trader Joe’s and still goes about twice a week. Huh, not me.
While my Trader Joe’s isn’t exactly down the street ( I like a grocery store to be within a five minute’s drive, and luckily I have one within a five minute’s walk), it’s not too far at about a 15 minutes’ drive.
Usually when I go, I get two things: the free sample, and organic dried mangoes. Sometimes, I’ll throw in a granola bar, dish soap and that tea tree hair conditioner they have for good measure. Sometimes the Trader Joe’s snobs (some of whom work there) look at me like, “that’s all you’re getting?” Because nobody goes there for one or two items. They don’t even have an express lane.
But let’s face it, Trader Joe’s is kind of a snobby store. I guess not like Whole Foods snobby, but hopefully you get what I mean. There is a certain type of customer that shops at Trader Joe’s. It’s not simply trendy, it’s like a designer grocery store, and the fact that one shops there relays a certain social status.
Perhaps that’s what all these fucking hauls are really about, anyway. It’s about, “hey look at me, I make enough money to buy a ton of shit at a specialty store even though I will still have to make a trip to the regular store, or maybe I’m just so fucking rich that for my other meals I eat out all the time.”
So with that in the back of my mind, I was happy to walk into the Trader Joe’s that day, feeling a bit out of place – I don’t shop there enough to know where everything is (except the dried organic mangoes, of course, oh and the free samples). And too, even though this was a big haul for me, it was tiny in comparison. So I walked in the store and headed for the dried organic mangoes first. I got two bags as opposed to my usual one. I made sure to budget for it. Then I went over to the salad in a bag section. I saw several that were featured in the hauls I’d been watching before I came across the one I wanted, also an “as seen on a haul” item. From there, I went on to look for olive tapenade, which I first experienced a couple of months ago during a potluck at work. It was so good I had to have some for myself. I stopped to get the free sample and then looked for the sourdough bread to go with the olive tapenade. I then went on to grab an acai bowl, another discovery from a haul. I also picked up a bag of chia seeds – lately I’ve been really into making chia pudding. Lastly, I picked up three cans of coconut milk for my chia seed pudding.
It’s the chia seed pudding that actually got me into Trader Joe’s again. While looking up chia seed pudding recipes on YouTube, I noticed that a lot of people were using Trader Joe’s organic coconut milk. I was especially interested when I saw that Trader Joe’s organic coconut milk is just water and coconut, not water, coconut and guar gum ( whatever that is) like so many other organic coconut milks on the market are. I really liked the idea of making my pudding with organic coconut milk that just had water and coconut, not to mention at $1.69 a pop, their cans are surprisingly cheaper than most.
After I completed my haul (3 cans of organic coconut milk, 2 bags of organic dried mangoes, 1 broccoli salad in a bag, 1 thing of olive tapenade, 1 sourdough baguette, 1 acai bowl and 1 bag of chia seeds) my total came out to $31 even.
I must admit, it felt nice walking out with an actual bag full of items, and yes, even with my small bag, I felt like I was adulting. This wasn’t a bag full of necessities, it was a bag of stuff I simply wanted. But the thing is, that feeling soon wore off. At the end of the day, not only did I just have a few specialty items to make snacks – not really meals – I still had to go to the regular grocery store before coming home to my apartment that I share with my mother and sister. No amount of organic coconut milk, olive tapenade or frozen acai bowls can dispel that fact.
By the way, even at $3.99, Trader Joe’s acai bowl is a total rip-off. While the acai sorbet part had decent flavor, the miserly toppings and the abundance of frozen fruit, even after I let it sit in the refrigerator oven night, was off-putting. Needless to say, I won’t be buying that again. I’d rather spend $9 at the place down the street.
Just as I’m writing this, I’m getting an epiphany. It occurred to me that maybe that’s why so many rich people are so miserable, and not just rich people but people who can afford to shop at Trader Joe’s regularly – people who have comfortable and disposable incomes. It’s because the high of grocery store agency – and in those people’s cases, a multiplicity of agencies – soon wears off, leaving you in search of another hit, another high.
When I look back over my life, and I think about all these… things that I’ve wanted, you know, just stuff – from a pager in high school, to a car in college, to my own apartment in a nice neighborhood near a movie theatre in graduate school, even trips to places like The Bahamas and Paris, or getting a job after going over a year without one, or getting a car after over a year of taking the bus, to even outfits for events, to meeting my favorite celebrities and yes, even Trader Joe’s shopping, it’s kind of like what Solomon said in Ecclesiastics, it’s all meaningless, a chasing after the wind. The anticipation has always been better than the outcome. The high from the get is always ever so fleeting, never to linger. It draws you in, then vanishes, leaving you wanting for more, looking for more in places where permanent things can’t be found, weren’t meant to be found.
And all this is making me realize that what adulting really is, at least for me, is not just buying what you want at a specialty store, or buying a house and having disposable income, though I can’t deny that I want those things too. But I think what it also is, is coming into your own, knowing who you are, excepting who you are, loving who you are and being who you are. And though I’m evolving, and developing, and growing, and gaining new knowledge all the time, knowing who I am is one thing that I think I’m really good at. That’s ultimately what makes me feel like and adult even as I lack so many of the material accoutrements society associates with that title.
Now if you will excuse me, I have to create my new Trader Joe’s shopping list. I was watching those hauls and I see that they have a buffalo chicken dip. I absolutely love that stuff, and I’m looking forward to trying theirs…in a couple of months or so when I can afford it.
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