{"id":2542,"date":"2021-02-10T23:55:50","date_gmt":"2021-02-11T07:55:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/shescribe.com\/?p=2542"},"modified":"2021-02-11T12:24:45","modified_gmt":"2021-02-11T20:24:45","slug":"learning-how-to-bounce-back-after-failure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/10\/learning-how-to-bounce-back-after-failure\/","title":{"rendered":"Learning How to Bounce Back After Failure"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

So you failed, now what?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After my post<\/a>, a few weeks ago, about failing quickly, I realized that while a post like that can be motivational, it also has the potential to leave you hanging. As if failure is singular. As if failure doesn\u2019t sprout out like branches with the possibility to induce a multiplicity of vices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Failure is tough shit. So if you\u2019re going to bounce back after failure, you\u2019re going to have to be intentional about doing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, exactly what does that look like? Well, I\u2019m still learning.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

After all, I\u2019m no licensed therapist, and I\u2019ve never been to therapy. What I have done, however, is failed\u2026a lot, like a lot, a lot. And when I fail, I typically don\u2019t take it well. I give up easily. Yet the problem I\u2019ve encountered with that \u2013 that I\u2019m now recognizing and owning up to \u2013 is that\u2019s not working out for me. \u00a0I gotta do something different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the something different I\u2019m trying. Since you\u2019re here,  come along —  you might as well try it with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let it Burn <\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n

After you fail, allow yourself to feel your feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ll probably be sad, mad, angry, depressed, ashamed, embarrassed, some of these, all of these or even more. That\u2019s fine. It\u2019s all a natural response to failure. I think too often in society we\u2019re considered weak if we admit to feeling these feelings.  As if we\u2019re all supposed to be immediately unbothered. I don\u2019t think that\u2019s healthy. Being unbothered takes a while, some work, or both. So I say feel your feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And even if you put up a front for everyone else, at least be honest with yourself. I think journaling is good or just self-talk. For example, you could say: I feel sad because I really needed the money from that job I didn\u2019t get and now I have to continue to struggle to pay my bills.  Or, I\u2019m really embarrassed because I told everybody about a new business venture that ended up falling through.  Or I\u2019m depressed because I\u2019ve tried so many times and nothing seems to be working. You don\u2019t want to pretend like it doesn\u2019t hurt when it does.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The disappointment is real. It hurts. It sucks. So often we want to escape our pain, and that\u2019s understandable, but ignoring it, or trying to distance yourself from it without dealing with it doesn\u2019t make it go away. It\u2019s still there haunting you, taunting you, controlling you in ways you\u2019re not even allowing yourself to be aware of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No, the best thing to do is confront the pain, and go through it. Of course, that\u2019s easier said than done, but the quicker you can do that the better. Because the ironic thing about avoiding your pain is that you\u2019re only setting yourself up for even more pain down the line. Best to deal with it now before it continues to compound like interest. Once you do, you\u2019ll discover your stronger than your pain. Your pain is no match for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 So acknowledge your pain. Feel your pain. Mourn the loss and then\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let Your Feelings Know Who\u2019s Boss<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Just because your feelings are valid doesn\u2019t mean they actually have merit. Let me explain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While it may be valid to feel angry that a coworker got a promotion over you, especially if you deserved it more, but even if you didn\u2019t, that anger won\u2019t change the situation. As a matter of fact, it most likely will hinder it. Anger has the tendency to cloud your judgement, thereby impairing your ability to make rational decisions towards improving your situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not only that, but anger will also be your guide, holding your hand every step of the way as you make decisions that ultimately set you even further back. So now not only did you lose a promotion, but you\u2019re out of a job. Or not only did you lose a promotion but you also ruined a relationship that could have connected you to something greater, later.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anger sees the worst in things. It takes away your options. Basically when you\u2019re angry you\u2019re not in control.  And the thing about anger is it\u2019s insidious as fuck. It\u2019ll have you thinking that you did the right thing \u2013 that whatever it provoked you to do was a win. I mean let\u2019s face it, the actions that you take out of anger can give you a sense of a victory, its own form of relief, only to look back, days, weeks, months, even years later and realize your so-called victory was really a defeat.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when you feel yourself getting angry, or you already find yourself way past that point, what do you do?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m glad you asked, you\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Evaluate the Situation<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n

The only person you can truly control in life is you, and even that\u2019s hard to do. But what that means is you have to start with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be honest. After the failure, ask yourself if you did your best,  or how you could have improved, if at all.  However, sometimes no matter what you do, things just aren\u2019t going to go the way you want.  And that\u2019s when you have to make a decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you didn\u2019t do your best, figure out what you have to do to do your best the next time or for the next opportunity. Because as long as you\u2019re alive, there\u2019s always a next time, always another opportunity in some way.  If you did your best and you still didn\u2019t get the desired outcome, redirect your attention towards your overall goals and dreams, and decide if you want to try it again or find a different path to your dreams. Oh, and congratulate yourself for doing your best, congratulate yourself for trying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In Genesis, when God was creating, well, everything, at the end of each day, He always said it was good. Whether or not you have reached a particular goal yet, whenever you take action towards achieving that goal, you might as well tell yourself it was good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And in order to help yourself take those steps you have to\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Know What You Want<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Knowing what you really want is so important; it\u2019s like the roadmap or the GPS to your dreams. Life is full of distractions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In life when you\u2019re trying to get from point A to B, you\u2019re inevitably presented with a lot of detours. Sometimes those detours may appear to be an accelerator, or a stepping stone, when in reality they\u2019ve taken you way off course.  And I just think the clearer you are about what you want, the less susceptible you are to those detours. The easier it is for you to stay on the right track.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Knowing what you want, I believe is tied to knowing your purpose. And to properly do that you have to\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have a Relationship with God<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n

When I was a teen there was this song that came on the radio on Sundays when they played gospel music. Part of the lyrics were, \u201cThe safest place in the whole wide world is in the will of God.\u201d  I remember singing along though not quite understanding the meaning.  I\u2019m sure it could mean a lot of things. But I\u2019ve come to realize that one of those meanings is that if you know your purpose \u2013 the thing that God brought you to the planet to do \u2013 and you do that, you\u2019re saving yourself from a world of trouble and heartache when you focus and go after it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So make sure you\u2019re putting God first. Pray, read your Bible. Thank Him for your blessings. Go out in nature and see the awesome work He has done. Look in the mirror and see the awesome work He has done. And know that you have that same power working in you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So those are my tips to help you bounce back after failure \u2013 tips that are just as much for me as they are for you. Whew, that took a lot out of me\u2026now I\u2019m hungry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So you failed, now what? After my post, a few weeks ago, about failing quickly, I realized that while a post like that can be motivational, it also has the potential to leave you hanging. As if failure is singular….<\/p>\n

Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2,3,4],"tags":[210,97,238,107],"class_list":{"0":"post-2542","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-career-and-goals","7":"category-mind-and-body","8":"category-on-my-mind","9":"tag-achieving-dreams","10":"tag-achieving-goals","11":"tag-failure","12":"tag-life-lessons","13":"entry"},"yoast_head":"\nLearning How to Bounce Back After Failure - Shirscribe<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A writer, who, over the years, has had a hard time dealing with failure, shares the steps she's taking to bounce back.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/10\/learning-how-to-bounce-back-after-failure\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Learning How to Bounce Back After Failure - 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