As mentioned in a previous post, each regular post (Wednesdays) this month will be about beauty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When it comes to beauty, I think most people think about someone\u2019s appearance. While I\u2019ll definitely touch on that aspect of it too, beauty is a multifaceted thing and I want to explore some of those other facets here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
First up, you saw the title, the beauty of not needing to know the answer to the question what if.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat do you mean by that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, I\u2019m glad you asked. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are times in life when you are forced to make decisions between two or more uncertain outcomes. Or times when you\u2019re at the mercy of someone else\u2019s decision making. And whichever way you, or they choose, you look back and wonder what would have happened if I would have chosen differently, if they would have chosen differently?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m not fond of that feeling. It\u2019s a bit of a sickening feeling, or just an annoying feeling at the very least, not knowing. I have a tendency to romanticize the choice I didn\u2019t take, or the choice that wasn\u2019t given to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This has happened to me a couple of times with jobs. For this one job, I applied for it in January 2015, got chosen to take the test for in in March of 2015, found out that same month I passed with flying colors, and then I was just waiting for them to place me. I would call them every now and again to see if there was an opening, but there never was, and by the end of April I was done. I stopped calling and they didn\u2019t call me. I went on to get another job. But every now and then I would wonder what it would be like to work there, and why they didn\u2019t choose me. I created this picture in my mind of how perfect that job would be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then one day, two years later in January 2017, I get an email asking to set up an interview, and in March of 2017 I started the job. I couldn\u2019t believe they thought about me after all that time. While there were several aspects to the job that made it ideal for me, there were others that made it hell. Six months later I was fired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The other job, I applied and interviewed for in August of 2018 and didn\u2019t start until October of that year. After a couple of weeks and I didn\u2019t hear from the interviewer who was also going to be my boss, I assumed I didn\u2019t get it, and started another job that I didn\u2019t want. Everyday on my way to this job that I didn\u2019t want, I drove pass a sign for the company I did want to work for, thinking how much better it would be if I worked there instead. Thinking that maybe that sign was a sign that there was still hope for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Turns out there was hope for me. I ended up getting that job two months later. Like the previous job I referenced, this one also had some great aspects, but overall was hell, and just five weeks later I was fired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think I\u2019m going to write a book that will include a chapter that goes more into detail of my experiences on those jobs. But for now, what stood out to me was that I was coveting what I didn\u2019t get, only for a strange twist of events to occur where I did end up getting them, only to realize it was nothing I wanted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fast forward to 2021, and I found myself in a similar situation with a job, only this time, I was the one in position to make the decision: should I stay or go? I did my best to way the pros and cons of both options, and went with the latter. It wasn\u2019t easy, and again I found myself asking what if? What would have happened if I would have stayed? Even considering how much better it would have been if I would have stayed. Then I think of those two other times when my what if fantasies came true and realize whatever is on the other side of that what-if doesn\u2019t even matter. I can\u2019t afford to entertain such thoughts. So I won\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s beautiful.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As mentioned in a previous post, each regular post (Wednesdays) this month will be about beauty. When it comes to beauty, I think most people think about someone\u2019s appearance. While I\u2019ll definitely touch on that aspect of it too, beauty…<\/p>\n