Welcome to my How I Write series, where I breakdown my writing process for a previous entry. Today\u2019s How I Write subject is last week\u2019s post Writing in the Absence of Light.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Writing in the Absence of Light was spawned from a journal entry of mine. I was contemplating, in written form, questions like: what exactly am I doing with this blog? do I want to keep going? and poof (that\u2019s in lieu of saying \u201cand just like that\u201d), some semblance of Writing in the Absence of Light was born.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, before it got to you, I edited the shit out of that entry \u2013 not so much for grammar. I mean I do what I can, but that\u2019s not my strong suit, at least not when it comes to correcting my own bad grammar. Now yours? I\u2019m more apt to tell you about yourself and be correct. I will catch your comma splice in no time flat, while mine goes undetected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But anyhoo, I had no outline. I edited, upon edited, upon edited \u2013 for clarity mostly. I wanted it to make sense\u2026well, to a certain extent. I also wanted there to be a little mystery for you to fill in the blanks with your own thoughts and conclusions apart from mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, without further ado, this is how I wrote Writing in the Absence of Light\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I used to watch \u201cAmen\u201d as a kid, and more recently I began watching it again in the middle of the night at like three in the morning (of course I\u2019m up) when it used to come on this channel called GET TV. Now I think it comes on COZI in the afternoon. But it\u2019s a cute show, and I still enjoy the episodes. But what I enjoy most about that show is its theme song. I seriously think it\u2019s edging on being my favorite. Recently someone on Twitter posed the question about what\u2019s the best TV theme song, and while there are many \u2013 I mean \u201cThe Jeffersons\u201d and \u201cGood Times\u201d are pretty thrilling. Then again \u201cCheers\u201d also had a good one, and right now as I\u2019m writing this I just thought about \u201cFamily Ties,\u201d and \u201cMoonlighting.\u201d Oh how I wish TV shows would do theme songs again. Yet even those can\u2019t compare to the foot-stomping, organ-playing, soul-stirring opening of \u201cAmen.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Vanessa Bell Armstrong sang the hell out of that song.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I added the video of that song at the top of the post because I liked the juxtaposition of its theme of shining a light with a post where I\u2019m talking about writing in the dark, writing where there is no light, where I\u2019m largely unseen. Some might say the irony of it all, but I prefer a paradox. How does one long for the light while being content in the dark? It\u2019s an existential conundrum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perhaps the plant world can help make it make sense \u2013 the whole idea of seedtime and harvest. When you plant a seed and bury it in the soil where there\u2019s no light, you still need the light of the sun to shine on it, even though it cannot be seen. I don\u2019t know, maybe that was neither existential nor a conundrum, but this is how my mind works, so this is what you get.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The whole thing in a nutshell, as my grandmother would say, is that I like the play between the light and darkness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I mentioned, this post started off as a journal entry, and when I was writing that entry Kathie Lee\u2019s quote about doing what you love and finding a way to get paid for it popped in my head. I love that quote. God bless the people who can go to a hum-drum job that they can\u2019t stand, spend years there, then retire with a nice 401(k) or pension. Because far be it from me to disparage hard work, honest work that provides a decent living. That has its benefits \u2013 literally. But by gosh, by golly, that ain\u2019t for me. I\u2019ve tried it, didn\u2019t like it. I don\u2019t want a job. I want to get paid for doing something I love. So, that\u2019s why the Kathie Lee quote is there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wondered if people might interpret this part of the post as me thinking that 30 is old. Well, if you don\u2019t know then I\u2019ll say it so don\u2019t ever wonder \u2013 I couldn\u2019t resist. But anyway, no, I don\u2019t think 30 is old. As a matter of fact, the age that I think is old is pretty up there. To me someone is old if when they die people say: she lived a long life, he died at a ripe old age. But if someone dies and people say gone too soon, or that was too young to die, then you\u2019re not old in my book. So I\u2019d say anything below you\u2019re late 80\u2019s but really more like 100 is not old.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s me though, not society. Society had me feelin\u2019 old at 17. I remember this one time when I was 17 and I was out with a group of people and somebody was talking about something that happened 12 years ago, and all of a sudden it hit me that I was alive then. With that one statement, I felt old. \u2018Cause you know when you\u2019re real young and people be saying shit like that you be like, that was before my time, I wasn\u2019t born yet<\/em>. Now all of a sudden it was like fuck, I was here 12 years ago, a whole five years, a kindergartener<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Also the older I\u2019ve gotten, still having unfulfilled dreams that I thought I would have accomplished at a younger age can make me feel old. Like when I did an internship at 22, not during but after<\/em> I graduated college \u2013 even though there was somebody there in her early thirties, even though there was someone there who was 24, most of them were like juniors in college, not to mention the lady who was doing the internship orientation class was also 22 with a full paying job, while I was working for free as an intern. So it\u2019s that comparison factor that society\u2019s so fraught with that can make you feel old.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Or maybe you are old and that\u2019s okay too. People use the word old like it\u2019s a bad thing. A 22-yeard-old college graduate is old for an internship that typically nets college juniors and seniors. But it\u2019s still better to go after your dreams and be that 22-year-old intern. It\u2019s funny, looking back now, I think I was pretty young.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Also, people are living longer now days. Thirty has evolved to some extent. I remember when I was a kid there was this show called \u201cThirtysomething,\u201d and the cast just looked and seemed much older compared to your average 30-year-old today. Yet for all the changes in what it means and looks like to be 30, there are still some traditional views that have held on about that milestone age that was true for the generation before me, true for when I turned thirty and remains true for the generation now \u2013 it is an age where people except you to have your shit together \u2013 and there are even gender specific ways of doing that, like getting married, having kids, having a good job, buying a house, having some international travel under your belt, and now investments are a big thing as well. Not only that, but in addition to those outward standards of having your shit together, you are expected to have your inner shit together too, like being self-aware, knowing who you are and shit like that. There\u2019s a lot that comes with turning 30, which is why I thought it would be an interesting year to capture in a blog, especially back then when storytelling blogs were more of a thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So anyway, that\u2019s how turning 30 became my entr\u00e9e into blogging, though that didn\u2019t really work for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But 30 in my opinion is not old. It\u2019s a great age, as is every age you\u2019re blessed to experience. I\u2019m grateful for every one of them and hope for many more!<\/p>\n\n\n\n I first saw this documentary last year some time, and even though I\u2019m not an artist in the painter, sculptor sense, I consider writing to be an art, so its message resonated with me. It allowed me to commiserate in the fact that there are a lot of talented, creative, capable people out here who go unrecognized, uncelebrated for whatever reason. But that despite that, it is important to keep going, that your work is necessary. I found that documentary to be very inspirational. Another similar doc I saw on HBO is called \u201cTwenty Feet from Stardom\u201d and it\u2019s about background singers, those who transition to center stage, and those who don\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One of my favorite parts of that documentary was when Darlene Love, a featured background singer, talked about how she had to clean houses after her background singing career tapered off. While she was cleaning a house, she heard her song come on the radio. From that she knew that there was something more for her. She went on to revive her career at age 40. I couldn\u2019t find a way to weave that story into Writing in the Absence of Light, so it got left on the cutting room floor so to speak, but I\u2019m glad I can bring it out here like DVD bonus features.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That is not to say that personal fulfillment success cannot coincide with monetary reward and earnings, I just think that one needn\u2019t wait until you make a lot of money to feel successful. I think that you should feel successful whenever you try something, whenever you do your best, whenever you give it your all, or even attempt to give it your all, especially if you gave nothing before. Those are the things that are in your control, those are the things which you can judge or maybe better put assess yourself by.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I think success comes in many different forms, and sometimes earning a lot of money isn\u2019t one of them. But earning a lot of money is definitely the main way society views success. When people say someone is successful, they don\u2019t mean they\u2019re a good person, a good mother, a good friend, even good at their job. They typically mean they make a lot of money. That\u2019s not the ideal I wanted to convey, and so I left it out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So there you have it. There\u2019s a little insight into my writing process, or more like my thought process behind my writing process, both before and after the piece was written.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Welcome to my How I Write series, where I breakdown my writing process for a previous entry. Today\u2019s How I Write subject is last week\u2019s post Writing in the Absence of Light. Writing in the Absence of Light was spawned…<\/p>\nBlack Art in the Absence of Light<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
The purposeful alleviation of the word success<\/h2>\n\n\n\n