So often when I tell people I\u2019m a writer, they want to know what books I read, or recommend. That\u2019s never an easy question for me, because I don\u2019t really read much. I\u2019m more of a TV watcher.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
About 20 years ago, I used to watch this show on PBS that was like a half hour book club. I can\u2019t remember the name, but the host would have an author or two that she\u2019d interview to discuss their books, and I believe she\u2019d mention a few other books as well whose authors weren\u2019t present. This host loved books. She read a lot. I remember her saying something like she was so obsessed with reading that once she was in the bathroom and didn\u2019t have anything to read so she read a box or tube of toothpaste.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, um, not me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m just not that into reading.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I mean I enjoy a good book, but like with most things, I\u2019m really picky and most books don\u2019t interest me. Writers are long-winded and can take forever to get to the point (kinda like, no exactly like me right now). A story in a book can drag on before it gets good. That\u2019s a luxury (or maybe not so much so) that TV and film don\u2019t get to have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My true writing inspiration comes from life itself, and watching movies and TV. You\u2019d be hard pressed to find me under a tree as a child reading a book, but I did attempt 24 straight hours of TV several times. And like that host was so desperate to read something, she started reading a tube of toothpaste, in kind, I would watch damn near anything. I had cable off and on growing up, more off than on. Without it, at 2 o\u2019clock in the morning there was nothing on but infomercials. I could tell you about every juicer, immersion blender, food dehydrator and whatever else they were hawking in the wee hours of the morning, because I was there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It’s been a minute since I\u2019ve watched in infomercial, but watching TV at 2 o\u2019clock in the morning is still my thing. I love it when that art form doesn\u2019t just entertain, but also makes you ask questions, makes you think. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Last night\u2019s \u201cThis is Us\u201d did that for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Called \u201cThe Hill\u201d the latest episode of NBC\u2019s hit Tuesday night drama saw Kate and Toby\u2019s marriage dissolving in a way that was more definitive than we\u2019ve ever seen before. Dissolving in a way that the viewers knew there was likely no coming back from. I say likely instead of definitely because that\u2019s just how much I don\u2019t like the idea of Toby and Kate breaking up. That\u2019s just how much I didn\u2019t see this coming until it was here. And so I hold on to a little hope just in case.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another thing that is really upsetting about me not seeing this coming is that I usually always see things like this coming. As a writer \u2013 at least for me \u2013 part of what I do is study human behavior. My ability to create believable, authentic human characters hinges on my ability to have a good grasp on human behavior. So I study people a lot. And one thing I\u2019ve noticed from my studies is that people don\u2019t change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perhaps that is a mind-blowing concept to some of you because we always hear the saying \u201cpeople change.\u201d People even use it in reference to themselves: \u201cI\u2019m not the same person I was last year, or five years ago, or 10 years ago,\u201d they\u2019ll say. But that\u2019s never really made sense to me because I\u2019ve never seen it happen. I\u2019ve never met someone who was a completely different person after time went by or circumstances changed. They just became more of a part of themselves that they always were.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even when Toby said, \u201cyou fell in love with a coping mechanism,\u201d which, by the way, was a great line \u2013 kudos to whoever wrote that. On Twitter it was rumored to have been ChrissyMetz. <\/strong>But even a coping mechanism is only a shield and those who deploy it can\u2019t keep their guard up 24\/7. Eventually, they\u2019re going to let it down, and you\u2019re going to see them for who they are. If anything, in the beginning, Toby was the more levelheaded one, while Kate was more of a hot mess. He never showed signs that he actually wanted to become the guy he turned out to be once he lost weight and got that San Francisco job. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The hardest part seeing this new change in Toby wasn\u2019t his new wardrobe or how happy he was about his job, but it was seeing the essence of who I\u2019d known him to be change. Like, your job and your clothes don\u2019t make you an asshole, you make you an asshole, and in this episode Toby was displaying some asshole qualities that were uncharacteristic of him. I mean turning down a job without discussing it with his wife, picking out and getting the ball rolling on buying a house without consulting his wife, making an executive decision that his family would uproot themselves from L.A. to San Francisco again without telling his wife was all just so un-Toby-like. I also found it weird that so many people knew who Kate was but she didn\u2019t know who they were.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now compare Toby with Kate for example \u2013 Kate has grown but she hasn\u2019t changed. There\u2019s a difference. Kate has always been a dreamer, she\u2019s always liked music and wanted to be a singer, she just struggled with believing she was good enough. She struggled to believe in herself. Her change is growing into who she was always meant to be, not being someone that\u2019s completely different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But, these are, after all, characters on a show, they\u2019re not real. So perhaps I can chalk up the disconnect to the writers, producers, or whoever is in charge over there wanting to take Kate and Toby\u2019s relationship in a different direction. Maybe that was the only way they knew how to give Kate some relationship drama, or I don\u2019t know. I would love to hear from them. But no matter what they would say, I said what I said and I\u2019m sticking to it. People don\u2019t change, they just learn to grow certain parts of themselves and suppress others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Do you agree?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" So often when I tell people I\u2019m a writer, they want to know what books I read, or recommend. That\u2019s never an easy question for me, because I don\u2019t really read much. I\u2019m more of a TV watcher. About 20…<\/p>\n