{"id":2954,"date":"2022-04-13T23:54:35","date_gmt":"2022-04-14T06:54:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/?p=2954"},"modified":"2022-04-13T23:54:38","modified_gmt":"2022-04-14T06:54:38","slug":"my-rough-rough-rough-draft-of-an-upcoming-post-about-networking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/13\/my-rough-rough-rough-draft-of-an-upcoming-post-about-networking\/","title":{"rendered":"My Rough, Rough, Rough Draft of an Upcoming Post about Networking"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>Okay so the above is where I want to end and right now for the next 30 minutes, I\u2019m just going to write to get how I felt that night off of my chest. I want to congratulate myself on the successes of that night, the first of which being that I went there by myself. &nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>The paragraph above is how I started off writing tonight. I procrastinated again and didn\u2019t begin until &nbsp;around 8pm. What started as a 30-minute exercise just to get some ideas out, three hours and some change later \u2013 with a couple of short breaks \u2013 I was still going, and I realized I wasn\u2019t going to finish in time. I thought about just cutting it off and editing what I had, but I want to tell this story for you the way I originally planned in my head. So instead of giving you nothing, I thought I\u2019d give you this mostly unedited rough draft. I say mostly unedited because I sometimes edit as I go. Oh, but believe me when I say it\u2019s rough. I\u2019m talking illegible sentences, misspelled words \u2013 though some of those words are purposely misspelled. But you get the point. I\u2019m not sure you\u2019ll totally be able to follow the story, and too I didn\u2019t finish the story.&nbsp; I just figured if I really want to show you how I write, I\u2019d give you a chance to compare the beginning to the end. So I will be back, sometime before next Wednesday to give you the finished edited version\u2026well, you know, as best as I can edit my own writing.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Oh, by the way, when I began that opening paragraph by saying \u201cthe above is where I want to end,\u201d that\u2019s because I had two main takeaways that I wanted to settle on at the end of this story. I thought I\u2019d save those for the finished product.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>So, brace yourself folks. Here is my rough, rough, rough draft of an upcoming post about my experience networking. Happy Reading!&#8230;<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Even though I am a loner and I often go places by myself, contrary to popular belief, it\u2019s never easy. I get nervous every time. I don\u2019t do it because I\u2019m so comfortable with myself or confident in myself that I don\u2019t need the crutch of having someone else there to at least talk to, it\u2019s just that I literally have no such person to rely on. And so then I have a choice: miss an opportunity to interact with people who work in an industry I want to be a part of, or get nervous, afraid. I choose going nervous and afraid every time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The first time I went to a large event alone I was like 18 or 19 years old. There was an annual business conference in town taking place on my university\u2019s campus. I wrote for the student newspaper at the time, and we were given a limited number of passes to cover the event. The journalism advisor held a lottery to disturb the passes, and I won on of the slots. The only thing is, to get full coverage of the entire conference both day and night, we had to go in shifts and go alone. For example I would come in in the day, one of my peers would take over at night, and if a peer was there at the same time as me, we covered different speakers so I was basically there all by myself.&nbsp; I think the main reason I wanted to go was because of the free food. They had ice cream and drinks, and by drinks I mean sodas and stuff, though alcohol as well I guess, and snacks. I remember they had this little area off to the side called a beer garden. I reminded me of the last scene in My Best Friend\u2019s Wedding, it was kinda decorated like that, and in their the played sports on big TV screen and they had a table running down the middle with finger foods on it. One of the items they had were lemon bars. It was my first time seeing, let alone eating lemon bars, and I feel in love. Which is another reason I guess, that draws me to such events, they so often have free food.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Being a student journalism also gave me an excuse for being alone there. I wasn\u2019t the lonely, friendless person who didn\u2019t have or couldn\u2019t get anybody to go with her. I was literally only given one pass to go. So because of that, I think I was able to approach it with a bit more confidence, because I had a purpose for being there that I wasn\u2019t ashamed of even if it was still uncomfortable being alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Another thing I learned about being at such events alone and that someone always come and talks to me. I wouldn\u2019t exactly consider myself an introvert, but I\u2019m definitely no extrovert either. If you talk to me then I\u2019ll talk to you back. And someone always talks to me. So even though I always go to these events alone, maybe with the expect of a couple times, I never remain alone; someone always comes and talks to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That, however, can be both a good and a bad thing. The good thing, is that I get a chance to meet new people in the industry and \u201cnetwork.\u201d The bad thing is not everyone is worth meeting. I\u2019ve had other loners who could sniff out the impostor syndrome on me &nbsp;and attach themselves to me just so they don\u2019t have don\u2019t have to be alone, ( only to ditch me when being around me no longer served their purpose. I was like a place holder, a seat filler to them) &nbsp;not to actually make a connection with me, and as soon as someone they feel can actually advance their career comes along they ditch me. &nbsp;Then there are others who capitalize on my insecurities by taking micro-agressive jabs at my status or lack thereof in the industry. Like this one time when I woman kept, who over the course of the night, kept asking me to tell her my name again, because she said, \u201cI keep forgetting it.\u201d I was 25 at the time, I think she said she was 26. She was a full-time writer at a newspaper. Like if you\u2019re memory is that bad, how do you how a job? No, this was her subtle, or perhaps not so subtle way of telling me I was a nobody in the industry. I was a graduate student at the time, she was a full-time writer at a newspaper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then there was another time when this woman practically attached herself to me during the first day of a four day journalism conference. I was at an NABJ conference in Orlando Florida, and we were taking a bus over to Disneyland for the convention\u2019s opening ceremonies. She sat next to me on the bus, and sat next to me during the show they put on. I think she worked in public relations. I worked in customer service at the time, and was trying to transition back into journalism. The next day I saw her and she completely ignored me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My favorite was at that same conference in Orlando, Florida. While I was sitting at my table enjoying my food, this man came and sat next to me. He was a sporter reporter or column for a New York newspaper (not the times, maybe The Post, anyway) he came and sat right next to me and started conversation. We talked for a bit, then he asked me what did I do, and I told him I worked in customer service. No sooner had the words exited my mouth did he get up and leave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I said all that to say, networking is a cutthroat business, just like business itself. People come to these events with an agenda. People come looking to meet other people who can do something for them, advance their careers, keep them in mind for the next job opening or what have you, and if they feel you are unable to fulfill, they\u2019re done with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And that\u2019s my problem, I\u2019m not so good at being done with people. Well, I mean, I am, I\u2019m sort of a bridge burning queen. I saw a quote once on Twitter that said let my path forward be lit by the bridges I\u2019ve burned, and I felt seen. Still, even for me to burn a bridge, you have to have done something terribly egregious that warrants on second chance, or I\u2019ve put up with your shit for a minute before I finally decide to cut you off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ve never encountered anyone at a networking event who done something terribly egregious to me, and they don\u2019t last long enough for me to reach the point where I cut people off. The duration of these events are short that my bullshit threshold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I marvel at the way people so boldly (at least I think it\u2019s bold, it would be bold if I did it) get rid of me. People have said they are going to the bathroom, going to get a drink, start talking to someone else near by and walk off, say, \u201cit\u2019s was nice meeting you,\u201d and walk off \u2013 they are not always rude. They just know how to move on when talking to me no longer serves them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Me on the other hand, even when I realize talking to you no longer serves me, if you stay with me, I will stay with you. If you keep talking to me I will keep talking to you. Because when I\u2019m in those industry setting, around people who somehow managed to get a real job in the business, that wasn\u2019t temporary or went beyond entry-level I always have this underlying feeling that I\u2019m not good enough, that I don\u2019t belong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If this is the point where you are feeling sorry for me, don\u2019t. Obviously somewhere amongst my insecurity there is a badass on the loom. I mean how else do I go to a conference full journalism professionals (I\u2019m talking folks from CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS, FOX, newspapers, magazines) as a customer service worker who admits to being a customer service worker, no less. Also, I can go toe to toe with any of them when it comes to discussing politics, social issues, and pop-culture. That and I\u2019ve also been known to have a commanding presence when I enter a room. So while some people are drawn to me business of my insecurities, other people are drawn because of my confidence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ll go to a conference alone confidently; I\u2019ll walk into a room confidently; I\u2019ll even discuss current events and give my opinion on issues confidently. But when it comes to talking about myself, all that confidence fades.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That is the history that I carried along with me into this Cocktails &amp; Conversations event with Seth Meyers. I found out about the event through an email-list I\u2019m on, and I RSVPed. The invite offer the choice to bring a guest, but my only option, of course, was to go it alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The confirmation email stated to arrive early as they overbook to ensure the event is full. The cocktails and finger foods, or tapas started at 6pm and the conversation with Seth started at 7:30pm. That\u2019s a whole hour and a half of mingling before I didn\u2019t have to worry about talking to people \u2013 daunting, indeed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But, at least there would be food there. Food always gives me a strategy. Like I said, or perhaps I only alluded to it earlier, but anyway, I don\u2019t go up to people, people always come up to me. I just don\u2019t know how to talk to a random stranger \u2013 I\u2019m better at responding. But with food there, if nobody ever comes up to me, I will be okay. \u2018Cause ya girl\u2019s gon eat. I don\u2019t give a fuck who\u2019s around me. I will never not have a good time when there is free tasty food in my midst.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The event was in the Hollywood area which was a good distance from me. I heeded the confirmation email\u2019s warning and got there early. I arrived around 5:05pm and there was already like 15 to 20 people in line ahead of me. Worse, that meant I had like an hour to stand there, alone with nobody to talk to. The line was full of chatter. Even the one guy, a gentleman who looked to be in his late sixties, who came alone around the same time I did &nbsp;and was a couple people ahead of me, was soon joined by a friend. Not only that, but as people arrived, passing us to get to the back of the line, they spoke to him \u2013 he was one of them. All the talk seem to surround other such events they all had attended. Some are more exclusive then others, and one lady was bragging to two ladies about getting into a soiree on a studio lot just the day before while one of two ladies who saw her go in, but was not invited to attend, bemoaned her own absence while being in awe of her friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Meanwhile the two ladies behind me complained about a coworker who sent three that could have been communicated in one. At some point of them mentioned something about praising Jesus, and I thought, perhaps that\u2019s my cue, that my in, but when I turned around one had her back to me, and the one facing me never made eye contact with me, so I thought better of saying anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In addition to ensuring I got in, part of the reason I arrived early was also to hopefully meet someone in line I could talk to, so I wouldn\u2019t have to worry about making my way around a room full of people already in groups. However, my line game was whack. Nobody talked to me. I\u2019m not used to people not talking to me first, yet I stood out there that whole time, almost an hour, and people said to me not a word. At that point I knew when I got inside I would have to turn on my food strategy, full effect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The event started on time &nbsp;and as soon as I walked in there was a server near the entrance with a tray of drinks. He had like ros\u00e9, Chardonnay and sparkling water. I grabbed the sparkling water and surveyed the room. Already, the room was rumbling with conversation, everybody seemed to know somebody.&nbsp; Just then I saw another server with a tray of food. It was a bite-sized piece of toast with some kind of pea, parmesan and garlic, pea-sized dollop on top. &nbsp;I took one and got in line for the cocktail. They were serving a specialty drink called A Closer Look. I should have taken of picture of the sign that tells you what\u2019s in it, but I wasn\u2019t thinking. All I remember is that it had grapefruit in it. The bartender was really nice. I asked him not to make mine too strong, as I like my cocktails on the sweeter side and not heavy on the alcohol flavor. He said the drinks were premixed and pretty strong, but he could add some Sprite to it to dilute it. He did and it was perfect. I felt a little more comfortable with a drink in my hand, you know, it made me feel like I was occupied with something. Slowly a made way through the room and to the wall where I could lean up against it and sip my drink. That\u2019s when I noticed that the food servers were coming out of a door near the wall I perched myself against. And that\u2019s when I started helping myself\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u2026to be edited and continued.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Okay so the above is where I want to end and right now for the next 30 minutes, I\u2019m just going to write to get how I felt that night off of my chest. I want to congratulate myself on&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/13\/my-rough-rough-rough-draft-of-an-upcoming-post-about-networking\/\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[216],"tags":[504,502,503,14],"class_list":{"0":"post-2954","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-how-i-write","7":"tag-networking","8":"tag-procrastinating-writer","9":"tag-rough-draft","10":"tag-writing","11":"entry"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.9 - 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