{"id":3029,"date":"2022-11-20T23:44:58","date_gmt":"2022-11-21T07:44:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/shirscribe.com\/?p=3029"},"modified":"2022-11-20T23:45:00","modified_gmt":"2022-11-21T07:45:00","slug":"no-new-friends-wait","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2022\/11\/20\/no-new-friends-wait\/","title":{"rendered":"No New Friends…Wait!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Friends,<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How many of us have them<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friends,<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ones you can depend on<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

                — Lyrics from the song \u201cFriends\u201d by Whodini<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you grew up in the 80s like I did and you were into hip-hop, you probably know the song Friends by Whodini. As a young kid I sang along to the chorus, not really knowing what it meant. Yet by the time I became an older kid, I was well acquainted with what it was talking about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The word friend can be used so loosely. You can be at a networking event talking to somebody you just met, next thing you know they\u2019re introducing you to somebody new as \u201cmy friend.\u201d Or maybe it\u2019s someone that you\u2019ve known for years, they call you friend, you call them friend, yet they are never there for you when you need them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After being disappointed by people that I thought were my friends, or that I called friends and maybe I knew they weren\u2019t my friends but I was hoping they would be, I stopped trying to make friends. Unlike Drake, I was always open to new friends, I just wasn\u2019t so quick to trust people. Basically, if you crossed me once, that was it. I was done with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a time when I would tell people exactly what they did, exactly why I was cutting them off because I thought that was the respectable thing to do. Most of those people weren\u2019t new, they were people I\u2019d known for a while. Once I got in my 30s I didn\u2019t even bother with that shit anymore. Plus, by the time I got in my thirties, I hadn\u2019t known those people long enough to warrant it. At that point, the few people I knew were just associates and we were all clear about that, so having \u201cthe exit talk\u201d would have been a moot point.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that\u2019s not to say I\u2019ve always been the perfect friend. I\u2019ve been a shady friend a time or two\u2026in high school, but after that I think I\u2019ve been a pretty solid friend to people I\u2019ve called friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The older you get the harder it gets. People at a grown-age are set in their ways. They\u2019ve lived so much life before you came on the scene.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 When you\u2019re a kid and you\u2019re in school, you grow together (sometimes only to get older and grow apart), but once you\u2019re grown, for the most part, there\u2019s no growing together with the people you meet. Rather you have to align yourself with someone who\u2019s like you \u2013 like minded, with similar or parallel dreams, goals, desires.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Usually you meet these people at work. The only thing about work is, at most offices there is a much smaller pool to choose from compared to a college or high school campus.  As such, I find myself being a loner most of the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While being friendless has its advantages \u2013 no decisions by committee, nobody in your ear talking all through the movie. Simply put, you have more control. But the price of that control can sometimes be loneliness. Because some things like parties and social gatherings are just better when you\u2019re in good company. They\u2019re much scarier when you have to find good company or hope that someone you\u2019ll click with talks to you. Just knowing you have a good group of girls that already check that box is a relief\u2026 or so I assume.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That being said, being alone feels hella better than being in bad company. Being in bad company is worse than any loneliness I\u2019ve ever felt by not having friends. And by bad company I mean simply being around anyone that doesn\u2019t value you. That includes people who don\u2019t value what you have to say, they don\u2019t value you\u2019re time, they ignore you to talk to other people and you end up being alone anyway. Or, they only value you for what you can do for them. Shit like that \u2013 I\u2019d rather not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the same time, I realize that it would be nice to have some folks on my same level, with similar beliefs (\u2018cause I\u2019m not tryna argue politics or religion) at similar ages and stages in their lives, that I can run stuff by when issues arise. Being a sounding board when  shit goes down in their own lives.  Gal pals to have a good laugh with, run ideas by, go on a girls\u2019 trip. And of course, people who understand that even though I don\u2019t have kids, I\u2019m not the go-to person to be runnin\u2019 these streets with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But yeah, in the meantime, I have no idea how to make these friends.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Friends, How many of us have them Friends, Ones you can depend on                 — Lyrics from the song \u201cFriends\u201d by Whodini If you grew up in the 80s like I did and you were into hip-hop, you probably know…<\/p>\n

Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[359,4],"tags":[569,571,566,567,568,570,573,572],"class_list":{"0":"post-3029","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-enjoying-life","7":"category-on-my-mind","8":"tag-bad-company","9":"tag-ending-friendships","10":"tag-friends","11":"tag-friendship","12":"tag-good-company","13":"tag-making-friends","14":"tag-making-friends-when-youre-grown","15":"tag-starting-friendships","16":"entry"},"yoast_head":"\nNo New Friends...Wait! - Shirscribe<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2022\/11\/20\/no-new-friends-wait\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"No New Friends...Wait! 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