I was at my job\u2019s Thanksgiving party, at a table with other people from my department, when the topic of discussion turned to cars. Sitting near me was my boss\u2019s boss, the director of our department. She mentioned how she wanted to get a new car, and almost immediately I discouraged it\u2026well, in so many words. I just casually mentioned how these high interest rates and high monthly payments are out of control and how I\u2019m grateful that I currently don\u2019t have a car payment. Others at the table seemed to agree with me. My boss\u2019s boss even said her husband said the same thing. And all of a sudden I felt validated, even accomplished in my frugality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Days later, while sitting alone at my computer, not uttering a word (\u2018cause you know how they say the computer be listening to you then starts showing you shit you been talking about) a banner ad for an Audi Q5 appeared on the right side of my screen, imploring me to lease it today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Promise I don\u2019t know how that got there. I haven\u2019t been to an Audi website in years, though I must admit I vacillate between coveting the Audi Q5 and the BMW X5, I assure you, for the most part, it\u2019s remained all in my head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was first put on to the Audi Q5 after seeing a woman driving one behind me in the drive-thru line at the EL Pollo Loco. She was a black woman at that in this big all black car, or I guess SUV, and it just looked so sleek and chic and sophisticated as did its driver. Immediately I thought, I want that look<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The thing I liked most about that car, was that for me, it screamed luxury without being over the top. It was like the difference between a blinged-out ball gown, and a sheath dress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You know how some women get married and their dress is huge \u2013 all covered in lace, and rhinestones, and pearls and all the frills? Then there are other brides whose dresses are just as simple and plain, yet they still look so regal in it? That\u2019s what that car was giving \u2013 simple and plain, yet regal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I find other luxury SUVs like the BMW and the Mercedes to be a bit more ornate, a bit more flashy in their design.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not long after seeing that woman in her Audi did I visit the Audi website. Well, it was about a year \u2013 I really didn\u2019t want to see the price. But finally I worked up the nerve and did that whole build your own car thing. The price was so traumatizing I blocked it from memory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then one day I was put in a rental car while my 2009 VW Beetle was being repaired. All the rental car place had at the time was an SUV. It wasn\u2019t an Audi, it was a Jeep. I love my little Beetle. I always get compliments in it and it\u2019s fun to drive, but it\u2019s quite small and sits low. I found the Jeep a bit weird and tricky to maneuver, but I liked sitting up high as I drove. That kinda solidified for me that my next car would be an SUV\u2026someday\u2026eventually.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Back in front of my computer, I couldn\u2019t resist. I clicked on the Audi ad. They were leasing it for like $756 a month. That price just blows my mind a bit. I remember when I used to pay $715 a month in rent for a one-bedroom apartment. And I paid $660 a month for the one-bedroom apartment I had before that. Sure that was like 16, 17 years ago and in Atlanta, but still. That\u2019s a lot of money to me for a car.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The most I\u2019ve ever paid for a car payment was around $230 and I only paid that much because I wanted to accelerate my pay-off date. I figured I\u2019d pay more monthly so I could began paying nothing sooner. But with a car, you never really pay nothing. Eventually you have to have work done, there\u2019s constant oil changes, and of course gas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n However, cost be damned, ultimately you want what you want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I know I currently can\u2019t afford that car, shouldn\u2019t even be thinking about how I can finagle my paycheck with bills and expenses to work such a heavy exploit into my budget. Still, I can\u2019t seem to shake the desire for it to be mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Lately I\u2019ve been visiting dealerships online. I\u2019ve built my own car on both Audi and BMW websites. I\u2019ve checked out YouTube reviews to see how they drive, which by the way, has made me even more picky now that I\u2019m learning about the engine, horsepower, torque and shit. Who knew those were things to consider? I\u2019ve always picked out cars because I thought they were cute. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m a dreamer \u2013 yes, and while I may frequently buy snacks and fast food (low cost purchases that insidiously add up before you know it, maybe even before you ever realize it) when it comes to big ticket items like cars, I\u2019m more cautious, crippled by anxiety. Those payments last a long, long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ve never been financially comfortable. I\u2019ve always been on a serious budget. I\u2019ve bought three cars in my life. The first one I bought I used money I got from a car accident settlement in which I was rear ended and my car was totaled. That totaled car was purchased for me by my mother. So I had some help there. The second car I bought after saving up a down payment and taking the bus for a year. The third car I bought \u2013 the one I have now \u2013 using a down payment from the money I got after my car was totaled after I was side-swiped and spunout on the freeway. All these cars were used by the way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Each time, I felt anxiety about buying, wondering if I would always have the money to make the car payments. You know like what if I lost my job and I would still be stuck with those payments. But in those cases the down payment and the lower monthly payment helped to assuage that a bit. I think for that first car the monthly payments were like $89.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s what being on a serious budget does to you. That\u2019s what being responsible on a low-income does to you. At least that\u2019s what it does to me. It hasn\u2019t stopped my desire for things I can\u2019t afford. It\u2019s just helped me get creative with finding a way to get them, then leaves me worried about how I\u2019m going to keep them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I don\u2019t want my next car purchase to be like that. I don\u2019t want to worry that, if for whatever reason I lose my job, I\u2019m not going to be able to keep up the payments. I want to be able to make those payments with ease, like I buy fast food. Matter-of-fact, I don\u2019t even want to make payments at all. I want to just buy the car flat out. Furthermore I want a brand spanking new car \u2013 zero miles, if that\u2019s even possible. I want to do it all comfortably. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Which brings me back to the conversation I was having with my boss\u2019s boss. Soon after touting the joys of not having a car payment, I regretted discouraging her about buying a new car. That\u2019s not to say that my opinion had any weight. For all I know she could have dismissed everything I said. But I regret it, because my opinion about buying a new car was coming from a place of lack. I was speaking from the perspective of a person who can\u2019t comfortably afford the new car that I would want. I don\u2019t know if that\u2019s true of her too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I don\u2019t know her financial situation. Maybe she can comfortably afford the car she wants. Maybe she just wants to treat herself and a new car is her waying of doing that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I was watching this video on Instagram, which actually came from TikTok, but someone reposted on Instagram, but anyway, in the video this girl was talking about why you should spend your money. Most financial advice tells you not to spend your money \u2013 you know the Suze Ormans and Dave Ramseys. They tell you to pay down your debt, use the snowball method with those credit cards and have at least six months of living expenses (but if you can, try for a year) in savings in case you lose your job. Oh and also have an emergency fund for things like your car breaking down, medical bills or repairs around the house. Once you have all that, then you can budget for other things like designer bags, vacations, upgrading cars and so on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But I believe that TikToker\u2019s point was that the little extra money most people have to save will take forever to add up to the amount necessary to meet the aforementioned thresholds. I mean if you puttin\u2019 aside $20 a month, even $100, $200 a month, it\u2019s gon\u2019 take you a minute to save up enough to live off of for six months. It\u2019s gon\u2019 take you minute to get rid of your credit card debt at that rate as well \u2013 I think the average American has like $5,000-$8,000 worth of credit card debt (but don\u2019t quote me on that). Mind as well put that on a vacation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ultimately, I think there\u2019s some validity to both financial perspectives. Putting money aside has saved me a many times. But the thing about savings is when you have to dip into it, it obviously gets smaller, and depending on the circumstances, like the loss of a job, it eventually runs out at a much quicker rate than it came in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The thing about a modest income is that you have to work really hard for a really long time to build up your savings, and one event can wipe out most if not all of it, leaving you to have to start again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I must say, though, I am a fan of a new beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So I said all that to say, the choice isn\u2019t easy, but such is life. I think what it all boils down to is that you have to be honest with yourself. Somehow we\u2019ve got to find a way to balance being responsible with money, saving and the like, with allowing ourselves indulgences that make life more fun. But don\u2019t just be saving just for saving\u2019s sake. Don\u2019t just be saving in anticipation of some future disaster, or even something great. Our time is now. So buy the car\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n You know, if you can afford it. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I was at my job\u2019s Thanksgiving party, at a table with other people from my department, when the topic of discussion turned to cars. Sitting near me was my boss\u2019s boss, the director of our department. She mentioned how she…<\/p>\n