I haven\u2019t written a beauty story in a minute. I don\u2019t know, maybe I should write about beauty more often, I\u2019m kinda obsessed with it. But yeah, I took my braids out. I was a little apprehensive about taking them out for several reasons: one, they are so convenient. I love being able to just get up and go in the morning without having to take the extra time and energy to focus on doing my hair. So there\u2019s that. But there\u2019s also the beauty factor. People tend to like me more with braids, I get more compliments on my hair when I have braids than when I wear my regular, natural hair. People who\u2019ve never seen me with my real hair are sometimes shocked when they see me for the first time without the braids. They say I look so different and of course by different they mean better\u2026better with the braids, that is. I\u2019ve noticed the looks I get when the braids first come out ever since I was in college, and it persists till this day. Even people who\u2019ve seen me before with my regular hair look at me with sort of a jolt after I take the braids out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I must admit, I never look forward to those looks, those comments even. It\u2019s just a reminder that I\u2019m no conventional beauty, and others believe that I should go the fake route to \u201cenhance my looks.\u201d Yeah, definitely not a good feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yet and still, the desire to love myself for who I am as I am trumps those disapproving stares of others every time. That, and my braids started looking raggedy, and well, even if they still looked brand new, I can\u2019t keep them in forever. Furthermore, nor do I even want to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Afterwhile, the braids just start to get annoying. I made them really long this time (you know I did them myself right? saving that money, honey). Their butt-grazing length wasn\u2019t even my intention. I didn\u2019t realize the braiding-hair was so long. Once I realized it, it was too late then. It would have taken more energy and effort to try to figure out how to shorten them and make them even all over my whole head then to just leave them be, so I just kept them long \u2018cause ain\u2019t nobody got time for that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But anyway, as I was saying, afterwhile, I get tired of having these foreign objects in my hair. I just want to be free. I must admit though, now that the braids are out, I\u2019ve already been looking for braiders who can put them back in. I\u2019d rather not do them myself, but I also don\u2019t like parting with the money. When the time comes to get braids again, we\u2019ll see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the meantime, and in between time, I\u2019m already dreading having to do my hair every day, or fix it in a style that\u2019s unbecoming but convenient aka the perpetual bun that I usually put my hair in, which, by the way, has done a number on my edges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m thinking about cutting it, really short, like really, really short, perhaps even shaving it and letting it grow back. I used to have really thick hair when I was younger. I first started noticing it coming out when I was in high school. It just got thinner and thinner until it arrived at it\u2019s current state. I wonder if I cut it all off and just treat and condition my scalp, will it grow back in like it used to be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But whether my hair grows back thick, stays the way it is now, or does something else down the line, I\u2019m determined to like myself and love myself just as I am. I refuse to rely on fake hair to feel beautiful. I use it as an accessory and for convenience, but not as a cover up of what I really look like. And if other people don\u2019t like it, what can I say, other than too fucking bad.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I haven\u2019t written a beauty story in a minute. I don\u2019t know, maybe I should write about beauty more often, I\u2019m kinda obsessed with it. But yeah, I took my braids out. I was a little apprehensive about taking them…<\/p>\n