I\u2019m writing at the absolute last minute again because I failed to plan ahead. My night-owl-ness has kicked in full-fledged now. I literally went to bed at around 6:30 this morning \u2013 not woke up, literally went to sleep at that time. Then I woke up around 12 noon and don\u2019t even really remember what I did after that. Oh, I straightened up my room a bit \u2013 I have boxes all over the place from the shoes that I\u2019ve been ordering (five pairs in total) in preparation for my upcoming trip to Seattle. And yes, there\u2019s no way I\u2019m taking all five pairs on this three and a half day trip, so maybe that\u2019s a little retail therapy, or more like sale therapy, because you know me. And if you don\u2019t know now you know. We don\u2019t pay full price round these parts. Then I watched Tamron Hall at 1pm. I told myself this was important, motivational even, because she had on a bunch of authors today. After that I was trying on outfits for the trip with the shoes I bought, and was reminded of how much I\u2019m over my current clothes. Though I did manage to pull together one outfit that I liked from the clothes I already have, but get this, I didn\u2019t like the shoes with it. I want loafers to go with it and I have no loafers. And I haven\u2019t even gotten to my hair yet. I\u2019m still trying to figure out what I\u2019m going to do with my hair. I was thinking I could put in braids, but I had braids in the Bahamas, Niagara Falls and Toronto and I don\u2019t want that look again. I need to figure out something to do with my natural hair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyway, after trying on about five looks, all with the same pants and shoes, I got tired and fixed myself something to eat \u2013 baked chicken from Albertsons and okra and rice that I made myself the other day. I don\u2019t remember what I did after that, but by the time 5pm rolled around I watched the Sherri show and a bit of the Jennifer Hudson show at 6pm before I came back to my room with the intentions of writing, but scrolled through social media instead and then watched a bit of YouTube. I did get a bit of Bible Study in there as well somewhere. I also stopped and did nothing \u2013 just let thoughts go through my head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Finally around 8:45pm I started to write, but not this post, just write in general, get my thoughts on the page. Then around 9 something, I started writing this post, which I must say, is earlier than I usually start, yet still not an ideal time. But I\u2019m sick of writing at the last-minute. It gives me anxiety, I feel stressed. Plus, what I end up writing tends to be not as well thought out as I want. It\u2019s just not a good look, not a good practice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s what got me to thinkin\u2019. You know, I usually say something\u2019s better than nothing, but there are also times when nothing\u2019s better than something. And I\u2019m just wondering if I continue to half-ass it will that be the case? Like is this last-minute writing helping me? Am I learning? Am I growing? Am I becoming a better writer, better person? Or am I setting myself back? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I also have a tendency to beat myself up when I fall below my expectations. And what I\u2019m learning is putting myself down has never been my motivation. Like I\u2019ve never beat myself up and then turned around and did better because of it. So I have to be nice to myself \u2013 Lord knows there\u2019s a whole mess of people who aren\u2019t, no sense in me joining them. I just have to take it all in, feel my feelings, and try again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, and go to bed before 6am.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019m writing at the absolute last minute again because I failed to plan ahead. My night-owl-ness has kicked in full-fledged now. I literally went to bed at around 6:30 this morning \u2013 not woke up, literally went to sleep at…<\/p>\n