It\u2019s been hard for me to write lately \u2013 just inundated with writer\u2019s block. Like I have an idea, something on my mind that I want to write about, then I go to the screen and nothing comes out. My goal is to write at least one good pre-planned post before this year is out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So anyway, I\u2019m just last-minute freewriting now, and what I\u2019ve been thinking about lately is risk-taking and how I so often just play it safe and don\u2019t take any risks. Now if you\u2019ve been here for a minute, or you\u2019ve read previous posts, you may be saying, aren\u2019t you the girl that travels by herself and moved to New York by herself without knowing anyone? Then again, I\u2019m not sure if I ever wrote about that, but in any case, yes, yes that is true. I\u2019m that b\u2026ahem, girl. But the thing about that is I have no friends, I haven\u2019t had friends in a long time, so not knowing anyone is not that big of a deal to me. Essentially everywhere I go I don\u2019t know anyone. But I guess since most people are used to hanging around other people, be they real friends or not, they are impressed when someone else deviates from their norm. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For the most part, I don\u2019t think much about going places alone\u2026well, sometimes I do, but usually it\u2019s not that big of a deal, so I don\u2019t look at that as taking a risk. To me, taking a risk is doing something that I\u2019m afraid to do. It\u2019s doing something that I can not only fail at, but that I\u2019m afraid to fail at. It could also be something that there\u2019s a high probability that I will fail at.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Often times, when faced with these risky situations, I don\u2019t even try. I count myself out before I ever get started, and thus I never get started. It\u2019s the issue I have with my writing \u2013 writing books and movie scripts. I think it\u2019s why I don\u2019t go as hard as I could because I\u2019m afraid to fail, and failure is inevitable in those fields. As a matter of fact, I\u2019ve already experienced it, which is why it\u2019s taken me so long to get back into it, I\u2019m afraid to fail again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now that I\u2019m in the job market again as well, I have that same issue. First of all, I hate searching for jobs. I mean, just the whole job search process is so\u2026I don\u2019t know, uncomfortable to me. I think one of the main reasons for that is because you pretty much have to toot your on horn, promote yourself and I\u2019m not good at that. I guess I can be good at it to a certain extent, but I have to really sike myself up for it. Like I\u2019m much better at promoting something or someone else than I am myself. Then I hate those questions like, tell me about yourself, or why do you want to work here, both of which could be answered with I need a job, but you know, you can\u2019t say that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With job-hunting where the risk comes in is that I get impostor syndrome. I have to battle thinking that I\u2019m not good enough for certain roles that I want and often times instead of dealing with the anxiety that comes with applying for a job I think I won\u2019t get, I just don\u2019t apply for it. I go for the easier job. But in a really competitive job market, even some of the easier jobs are not that easy to come by.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, now in my mid-40s, I\u2019m at the age in stage in my life where I don\u2019t want to take the easy way out anymore. I\u2019ve also lived long enough and taken the easy route enough times to know that taking the easy way out is deceptive. What looks like the easy route up front, costs you so much more over time on the back end. It\u2019s like in essence, there really is no easy route. It\u2019s either easy in the beginning, hard in the end, or hard in the beginning, easier in the end. It\u2019s like either way you\u2019re gonna pay \u2013 so how do you want to pay?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now I feel like I just don\u2019t want to waste anymore time not trying. If I fail, let me fail. If I don\u2019t get the job, I don\u2019t get the job. If my book doesn\u2019t sell, it doesn\u2019t sell\u2026but what if it does?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I owe it to myself to at least try. And not even just try, but go hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So yeah, I think I\u2019m going to start being more of a risk-taker. What the fuck have I got to lose? What a great place to be in.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It\u2019s been hard for me to write lately \u2013 just inundated with writer\u2019s block. Like I have an idea, something on my mind that I want to write about, then I go to the screen and nothing comes out. My…<\/p>\n