{"id":3620,"date":"2025-11-11T12:33:28","date_gmt":"2025-11-11T20:33:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/?p=3620"},"modified":"2025-11-13T17:01:27","modified_gmt":"2025-11-14T01:01:27","slug":"i-need-a-little-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/11\/i-need-a-little-christmas\/","title":{"rendered":"I Need a Little Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When the clock struck 12 on November 1st<\/sup>, Mariah Carey, aka the Queen of Christmas, declared It\u2019s tiiiiimmmeee!<\/a> And so, let it be!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am so happy that the Christmas season has begun. I can\u2019t wait to see the first house with Christmas lights. I bet the houses a few blocks over have them up already. I haven\u2019t been over that way at night just yet to see. I\u2019ll go by soon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like so many years of my life, 2025 has been one filled with disappointments, demoralization, depression, discouragement…I could go on with more disconcerting \u201cD\u201d words, but I won\u2019t, \u2018cause I promise you this is not a Debbie downer post\u2026At least I hope not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And yet one of life\u2019s certainties is that you will have a lot of down times. As Psalm 34:19 says, \u201cMany are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all.\u201d All the difficult times throughout the year are one of the reasons Christmas time is so special to me \u2013 it just brings me a bit of joy that I don\u2019t have to worry about creating for myself. I can revel in the music, marvel at the festive lights and decorations, and perhaps even get some antlers and a red nose for my car that every year, since 2010, I\u2019ve said I was going to get, but have yet to do so. It\u2019s just a wonderful time of year \u2013 the best time of year. The one thing that makes the sun going down so damn early during these last months more bearable. Lord knows I love me some daylight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So let\u2019s take a quick trip back down memory lane to the beginning of 2025. But first let\u2019s make a brief stop off in 2023 when I got fired, then make our way forward. I took that ouster as a message from God that I needed to stop playing it safe and start pursuing my purpose fully. But what exactly did that mean, especially when I had no money? Okay, I didn\u2019t exactly have no money. I had a little bit of savings, even less in my retirement account, and my credit cards. I mean even when you have a job your money is finite. You are limited to the capacity of your paycheck. If you make $1000 you can desire something that costs $1001 all you want, but it might as well cost a million dollars because you still can\u2019t afford it. So even when you have a steady paycheck there are some restrictions associated with what\u2019s available to you. I don\u2019t know that that was a good example given the access to credit cards and the ability to save and all, but anyway. But when you have no income at all? That is a-whole-nother animal. To see money constantly going out and nothing coming back in to replace it is a scary feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With the obstacle of having a zero balance in my bank account staring me down, it was hard to think about devoting myself completely to my purpose and not at least replacing my job with another job that could help fund my purpose. And so, I thought perhaps I should do both. I looked for a new job while also working on my writing. And like a perfect storm, I just so happened to get fired during one of the worse job markets in history, where I was lucky to get an email response to my application rejecting me, let alone an interview. I even got a rejection email on Christmas Day 2023. Thankfully I don\u2019t check my emails on Christmas. I said don\u2019t nobody bring me no bad news<\/a> <\/strong>on Christmas. But the next day I saw it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

With the deadbeat job market in full effect, my unemployment having ended in March of 2024, and my savings dwindling fast, I decided I would focus more on self-publishing my book over searching for jobs. I mean I never completely gave up on applying for jobs, because, to be honest, I didn\u2019t have that kind of faith, but it was no longer a priority. I was learning all I could about self-publishing books. I had already spent a pretty penny to hire an editor in February of 2024 \u2013 her skills turned out to be not so good, but I figured I could make up for her shortcomings with my own edits, plus it needed a final edit from a proofreader anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I went on a disappointing search for a book cover designer, interviewing several people, giving an offer, then later rescinding it; hiring another person then later firing her. When the calendar changed to June, my book was still nowhere near publishing-ready condition. As Christmas 2024 approached, it became abundantly clear that I no longer had money to publish my book and whatever was left of my savings I needed for my bills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When January of 2025 rolled around, my book was an afterthought. I needed a job and I needed one badly. I was applying to all sorts of jobs by then. Jobs I\u2019d once refused to apply to earlier in my unemployment like customer service and retail roles \u2013 not because I\u2019m above that type of work, but because I\u2019ve been there, done that and Lord knows I didn\u2019t want to go back \u2013 my swiftly depleting bank account would no longer let me ignore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But even those retail and customer service jobs that always came through previously, when I needed work in a pinch, were rejecting and ghosting me. By April of 2025 the majority of the jobs I applied to were retail or customer service jobs. Also by April of 2025 I had blown through my savings, my 401k and maxed out my credit cards.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I tell you, it is a sobering feeling not having any money. I mean don\u2019t get me wrong, I wasn\u2019t at risk of being out on the street, I live with my mother, but it\u2019s just a total and complete loss of a sense of agency and autonomy that\u2019s soul-jolting. And it\u2019s funny because I\u2019ve had a few bouts of unemployment before, and I\u2019ve always been able to get another job before I maxed out my credit cards, before I couldn\u2019t pay the bills. At the last minute, God would always come through.  Like that time I moved to New York on a wing and a prayer with only $3000 to my name, and just when it was about to run out, I got a temp-to-perm job that gave me a steady paycheck. Or that time about 11 years ago when I quit my dead-end job of almost seven years on a whim, and seven months later, again, just as I was about to run out of money, I got another job. Or that time a few years ago, after I got laid-off during covid and my extended unemployment ran out and my seasonal retail job ended, two weeks later I got a full-time job (the one I would get fired from a year later), again just as I was about to run out of money, God came through\u2014no bills late, credit score intact. But this time God had other plans. My good credit score, which I prided myself on, even while broke, tanked. Thankfully my car\u2019s been paid off for years now so that wasn\u2019t an issue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Between April and July of this year, I felt the craziest sense of desperation. I was applying for more jobs, and lined up more interviews, but none of them panned out. One of them even had the nerve to make me do a writing test for a call center job, tell me I did well and still rejected me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With each rejection, I kept lowering my standards regarding the type of job I would accept. In the beginning, I was like I\u2019m only going to apply for jobs that pay more than my last job. Then I lowered it to jobs that pay the same as my last job or a few thousand less. Then higher-paying hourly jobs. Then lower-paying hourly jobs, full-time or part-time. Then jobs that just paid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In mid-July I came across this temporary job. It was in a call center at a hotel. They would only need me until October, but hey, maybe they would keep me on afterward or during that time I\u2019d find something else, but at least I\u2019d be getting a paycheck. At that point I was applying willy-nilly, not even tweaking my resume, just sending it off. Most of them didn\u2019t respond anyway, so I was always surprised when one did. This one did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We started with a phone interview that went well, that is until she scheduled me for an in-person interview. She said I would have to park on the street at the back of the hotel and pay for parking myself which they wouldn\u2019t reimburse. From there I would have to walk around to the service entrance, where I would check in with security then go to the HR office. So desperate for a job was I that on the spot, I agreed. But there was something unsettling about it in my spirit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I googled the place where she told me to park and their service entrance. The street parking was like an eighth of a mile away from the service entrance. Mind you it was hot as hell this summer. I also did a bird\u2019s eye view of the service entrance only to discover it didn\u2019t even have a pedestrian walkway. There was just a loading dock and dumpsters back there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like the wayward son in the story of the prodigal son in the Bible, after that I came to myself. Something deep in my spirit said I can do better than this. If that\u2019s the way they were treating me in the interview process, I could only imagine the shit I would\u2019ve had to put up with if I got hired, and that\u2019s even if they\u2019d hire me at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With no job, no money, and no prospects for a job, I emailed them and told them I was no longer interested in the position and why. They replied back with some bullshit response and I just let it go. Later that same day, I applied to a department store, a few days later I had the interview and got the job.  Now some might say getting that job so quickly after that hotel debacle was just a coincidence, but I think not. Like it says somewhere in the Bible, \u201cas a man thinketh in his heart so is he.\u201d I don\u2019t know if that\u2019s an exact quote, but you get the point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The point is we create our own reality. Now obviously there are things that are outside of our control, but I think there is so much more of our lives that is in our control than most people realize including me \u2013 I\u2019ve been one of those most people. And I\u2019m slowly, but surely realizing the hand I have in this game. I think it took me showing myself a little self-respect to finally get hired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course this job isn\u2019t a dream job \u2013 far from it. It\u2019s part-time and the hours aren\u2019t many. I in no way can take care of myself with these wages and have to scrimp and scrap with every paycheck to barely pay a few bills. But it\u2019s a tiny step up from the great big nothing that I had before it, and for that I\u2019m grateful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By now you might be saying I thought this wasn\u2019t a Debbie downer story, because it\u2019s sounding pretty downer to me. I\u2019ll admit, this year has brought me really close to losing my faith. If I\u2019m honest, I actually did lose it a few times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I also believe that all things work together for good to those who love the Lord. So, what\u2019s left for me to figure out is what God is trying to tell me, teach me through my current life circumstances. I think some of those lessons are that I need to work harder, I need to work smarter. I need to bet on myself more, I need to be more consistent, maybe also persistent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I believe He\u2019s teaching me to stop getting comfortable in places that I don\u2019t belong. I need to stop making due with what is and start creating what I want to be. If I get too comfortable in where I\u2019m not supposed to be, I won\u2019t fight to be where I am supposed to be. And I know I said something like that here before<\/a>, but I also had a lot more money in the bank then, than I do now. Sure I had already lost my job, but I could also still comfortably pay my bills and that makes a difference. Right now I have about $7 in the bank and the paycheck I\u2019ll get later this week is already gone. So, as the kids say, now, it hits different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the meantime and in between time, I\u2019ll make a valiant effort to count it all as joy with an assist from the cheer of the Christmas season. These hard times are just reminding me that I\u2019m not supposed to be here. Life\u2019s reminding me that things will only change when I do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When the clock struck 12 on November 1st, Mariah Carey, aka the Queen of Christmas, declared It\u2019s tiiiiimmmeee! And so, let it be! I am so happy that the Christmas season has begun. I can\u2019t wait to see the first…<\/p>\n

Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[359,714,696,4],"tags":[836,837,716,214,835,99,834,35],"class_list":{"0":"post-3620","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-enjoying-life","7":"category-life-lessons","8":"category-my-self-publishing-journey","9":"category-on-my-mind","10":"tag-christmas","11":"tag-depression","12":"tag-job-search","13":"tag-joy","14":"tag-losing-faith","15":"tag-rejection","16":"tag-underemployment","17":"tag-unemployment","18":"entry"},"yoast_head":"\nI Need a Little Christmas - Shirscribe<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"After having a discouraging year marked by unemployment in an unforgiving job market, a writer shares how Christmas time helps assuage the pain as she moves forward.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/11\/i-need-a-little-christmas\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I Need a Little Christmas - Shirscribe\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"After having a discouraging year marked by unemployment in an unforgiving job market, a writer shares how Christmas time helps assuage the pain as she moves forward.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/11\/i-need-a-little-christmas\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shirscribe\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-11-11T20:33:28+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-11-14T01:01:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Shirscribe\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Shirscribe\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"10 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/11\/i-need-a-little-christmas\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/11\/i-need-a-little-christmas\/\",\"name\":\"I Need a Little Christmas - Shirscribe\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2025-11-11T20:33:28+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-11-14T01:01:27+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/#\/schema\/person\/a7347811ae0cb446db51c8ff22f7048f\"},\"description\":\"After having a discouraging year marked by unemployment in an unforgiving job market, a writer shares how Christmas time helps assuage the pain as she moves forward.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/11\/i-need-a-little-christmas\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/11\/i-need-a-little-christmas\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/11\/i-need-a-little-christmas\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"I Need a Little Christmas\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/\",\"name\":\"Shirscribe\",\"description\":\"I talk a little bit about a lot of shhh...\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/#\/schema\/person\/a7347811ae0cb446db51c8ff22f7048f\",\"name\":\"Shirscribe\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/be9a010a1f1ffb865725e6b7dc9dbb261c4d1c414ba4ba842cf8a05ea76957e3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/be9a010a1f1ffb865725e6b7dc9dbb261c4d1c414ba4ba842cf8a05ea76957e3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Shirscribe\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/author\/mescribe\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"I Need a Little Christmas - Shirscribe","description":"After having a discouraging year marked by unemployment in an unforgiving job market, a writer shares how Christmas time helps assuage the pain as she moves forward.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/11\/i-need-a-little-christmas\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"I Need a Little Christmas - Shirscribe","og_description":"After having a discouraging year marked by unemployment in an unforgiving job market, a writer shares how Christmas time helps assuage the pain as she moves forward.","og_url":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/11\/i-need-a-little-christmas\/","og_site_name":"Shirscribe","article_published_time":"2025-11-11T20:33:28+00:00","article_modified_time":"2025-11-14T01:01:27+00:00","author":"Shirscribe","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Shirscribe","Est. reading time":"10 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/11\/i-need-a-little-christmas\/","url":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/11\/i-need-a-little-christmas\/","name":"I Need a Little Christmas - Shirscribe","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2025-11-11T20:33:28+00:00","dateModified":"2025-11-14T01:01:27+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/#\/schema\/person\/a7347811ae0cb446db51c8ff22f7048f"},"description":"After having a discouraging year marked by unemployment in an unforgiving job market, a writer shares how Christmas time helps assuage the pain as she moves forward.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/11\/i-need-a-little-christmas\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/11\/i-need-a-little-christmas\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2025\/11\/11\/i-need-a-little-christmas\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"I Need a Little Christmas"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/","name":"Shirscribe","description":"I talk a little bit about a lot of shhh...","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/#\/schema\/person\/a7347811ae0cb446db51c8ff22f7048f","name":"Shirscribe","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/be9a010a1f1ffb865725e6b7dc9dbb261c4d1c414ba4ba842cf8a05ea76957e3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/be9a010a1f1ffb865725e6b7dc9dbb261c4d1c414ba4ba842cf8a05ea76957e3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Shirscribe"},"url":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/author\/mescribe\/"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3620","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3620"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3620\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3624,"href":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3620\/revisions\/3624"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3620"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3620"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3620"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}