{"id":3732,"date":"2026-07-07T21:53:06","date_gmt":"2026-07-08T04:53:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/?p=3732"},"modified":"2026-07-07T21:53:08","modified_gmt":"2026-07-08T04:53:08","slug":"my-self-publishing-journey-can-maya-angelou-zora-neale-hurston-help-me-finally-remove-the-needle-from-a-broken-record","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/shirscribe.com\/index.php\/2026\/07\/07\/my-self-publishing-journey-can-maya-angelou-zora-neale-hurston-help-me-finally-remove-the-needle-from-a-broken-record\/","title":{"rendered":"My Self-Publishing Journey: Can Maya Angelou & Zora Neale Hurston Help Me Finally Remove the Needle from a Broken Record?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Back in 2002, when the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books<\/a> was still held at UCLA instead of USC where they have it now, I attended for the first time and met Maya Angelou<\/a>. Well, met might be too strong of a word for our encounter. She was on the stage and I asked her a question from a mic in the audience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My question was, \u201cHow do you know when a work is finished?\u201d Too bad I only vaguely recall her answer. Part of what she said had to do with having a publisher and a deadline. Something I don\u2019t have to think about because I\u2019m now self-publishing, although I should because I\u2019m also wasting time. The other part of what she said was you just know.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s the type of response that I was, and often times still am, afraid of \u2013 one that leaves the answer up to me. Perhaps that\u2019s because I want someone else to blame if things go wrong. But how could they go wrong? Maybe just someone else to point the finger at if things don\u2019t turn out the way I want\u2026the way society has taught me someone becomes a success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Recently I came across an old notebook of mine from that same year. That was also the year I finished writing my novella. I called it a short story back then. It was a long short story, but a short story nonetheless. It was interesting to see where my headspace was at that time. My writing was sporadic and literally all over the place. I\u2019d write in one notebook one day and another the next \u2013 just which ever one was handy at the time. Then maybe I wouldn\u2019t write at all for a month or two\u2026hmp, I guess I still do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was July of 2002 on the page that I had come to in this old notebook. I had just sent off my story to The New Yorker<\/a> and was expressing my faith that they would accept it, yet still nervous about what would happen if they didn\u2019t. Part of what was hanging ’round my mind<\/a> was not only whether or not my story was good enough, but also was it finished. I\u2019d spent a little over a year writing it. The majority of that time was devoted to wrestling with the fact that the story in my head was so much better, more vivid than what I managed to extract from my imagination onto the page. My challenge was to try and squeeze out more. My anguish was, try as I may, it was a futile effort, an unwinnable sway. And when the rejection ultimately came, it served to confirm my fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s funny, I\u2019ve lived more years since I wrote that story, than I had when I finished it. I\u2019m more than twice as old now as I was then. People say, if I only had more time,<\/em> when it comes to things like this. I have had nothing but time, and yet even time could not permit me to tell a better story \u2013 one where I could finally say this is everything I want it to be. Twenty-two years later, I took the story up again, this time to self-publish it. I\u2019m already two and a half years in, and I find once again, time is toying with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I went through accepting or rejecting the corrections of an unimpressive editor I hired, I still found myself tweaking the story. About a week or so ago, I finally finished reviewing all of her edits. Most of the revisions I made were in the last chapter.  It was nothing drastic\u2014I\u2019m fighting to remain as true to the voice and the story I told back when I was 22 as I can, but there were parts of that last chapter that just seemed too underdeveloped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have you ever taken up a task where you have lots of energy in the beginning, both physical and mental energy that allows you to be meticulous, and precise, maybe even patient to some extent, with whatever you\u2019re doing? Then by the middle, you\u2019ve already been doing it for a while, it\u2019s more familiar, so the middle benefits from your beginning. But by the time the end comes along, you\u2019re exhausted. You just want this thing to be over?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I was going over the editor\u2019s edits, when I came to the last chapter, that\u2019s what it felt like. It felt like in some parts I had dropped the ball, because I wanted that year of torture, writing this thing, to be over. But it wasn\u2019t just because I wanted it to be over. It was also because I\u2019d truly given all I had to give to the story at that time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now reading it back, I wanted to make it better. I\u2019d caught things that I\u2019d never caught before \u2013 not even two years ago when I first embarked upon my self-publishing journey. And thus, a new battle of sorts began \u2013 one where I wrestle with staying true to the way the story was 24 years ago when I was 22, or \u201cimproving\u201d it with the fresh eyes I have now. Ultimately, it came down to what I thought was best for the reader. And so, I tweaked a few things, added more descriptions to make it be easier for the reader to see this world I saw the character in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Frankly, I could have kept going, but then I thought about something I initially read, oddly enough, back in 2002 as well.\u00a0 It\u2019s my favorite chapter in one of my favorite author\u2019s autobiography \u2013 \u201cDust Tracks on a Road\u201d<\/a> by Zora Neale Hurston<\/a>. What a title that is. Anyway, the chapter is called \u201cBooks and Things.\u201d <\/strong>In it, she details the hurdles she went through while writing and getting her books published. It was truly fascinating to read about the obstacles she encountered including the ones associated with living in a time before computers. There\u2019s one passage, in particular, that spoke to me in my current situation. In it she wrote:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wrote \u201cTheir Eyes Were Watching God\u201d in Haiti. It was dammed up in me, and I wrote it under internal pressure in seven weeks. I wish that I could write it again. In fact, I regret all of my books. It is one of the tragedies of life that one cannot have all the wisdom one is ever to possess in the beginning. Perhaps, it is just as well to be rash and foolish for a while. If writers were too wise, perhaps no books would get written at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve read that chapter several times since 2002, but it\u2019s still been years since I last revisited it. So it\u2019s funny how it came to mind as I was going over my novella\u2019s final chapter. I specifically sought that passage out to help guide me, and came to the decision, as I have before, that with this story I can do no more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This time I\u2019m going to make it stick. I think it may even border on arrogance, if not completely cross that line, to think that I can give it more. I have come to terms with the fact that this story I wrote is imperfect, but that doesn\u2019t mean it can\u2019t be impactful. That doesn\u2019t mean it can\u2019t still be loved and felt and bless somebody. At some point I just have to trust that the reader\u2019s life and experiences and imagination will create what I couldn\u2019t. But honestly, I\u2019ve given this story all I\u2019ve got. I have nothing left to give, except to give it away to you\u2026you know, for a small fee\u2026to be determined once I get further along with this self-publishing thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

PS:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve been here before, you know I\u2019ve said something similar to this before about letting the story go. Hopefully, this time I mean it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Back in 2002, when the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books was still held at UCLA instead of USC where they have it now, I attended for the first time and met Maya Angelou. Well, met might be too strong…<\/p>\n

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