This is not what I originally intended to write about but this is what came to mind so this is what you get…
The idea’s been on my mind for a while now. It was reintroduced to me not too long ago when I saw the post on XONecole’s Instagram about couples getting married during the quarantine. And there was something so special about that to me, to forsake the big wedding bash, and in essence sort of elope.
Seeing that made me think about this video I’d seen years ago with this group of guys talking about relationships. This one guy was in a long term relationship and he had been with the girl for some years. I don’t remember how many years, but enough to be able or ready to put a ring on it. I loved the answer he gave when asked why he hadn’t proposed to his girlfriend. He said it wasn’t because he didn’t love her, that she wasn’t a good woman or he wasn’t attracted to her. It was because there was always the possibility of something better. Like the possibility that maybe, just maybe another woman would come along and blow his mind even more so than his current mate was stopping him from fully making that commitment. I love that answer so much for nothing more than its honesty.
Hmmmm. Something better.
My initial reaction upon hearing him was this guy is an asshole. His girlfriend needs to leave him with the quickness. I’ve since lightened up on the asshole part – although he may in fact be an asshole – I don’t know. But what if he’s right? What if there is something better out there for him? However, I still think his girlfriend should leave him, because she would have probably married him yesterday, had he wanted to, and I just think there is no sense in waiting too long, if at all, for someone who is unsure of you when you think you’re sure of them. That right there makes ya’ll incompatible. If uncertainty still persists after all those years, he needed to just move on. But the problem with moving on is that it’s risky. What if you are actually with your something better and you end up leaving them for not good enough? That’s the scary part because you never know.
This idea of something better is not relegated to relationships, it can apply to anything where you can compare what you have to something you don’t have – jobs, the neighborhood you live in, car, anything. It’s the whole the grass is always greener on the other side mental mirage. And we say that phrase flippantly, almost as a reprimand to someone who suspects they will be happier if they can just get something that they don’t have, something better. It’s a reminder to be happy with what you already have.
Sometimes we leave our something better only to end up with something much worse. Sometimes we have something much worse and are deceived into thinking it’s something better.
I guess the best thing to do is… Okay, I don’t know what that best thing to do is. Maybe just make a decision and go from there. After all, even something better won’t be perfect.
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