I’m trying something new.
In preparation for this post, and future posts as well, for that matter, I’m seeing a pattern developing here, and so I thought I’ll just go with it. So from now on, (or at least until I see how it goes), I’m going to create a theme for each month that my posts will be centered around.
This month’s theme is human interest stories. That’s a little broad, I know. I kinda think that everything thing I write is a human-interest story, has some element of human interest to it. But I really want to focus on the human condition this month, especially sense I think I’ve kinda already been doing that.
Next month, the month of December, the theme will be beauty, so I’m excited about that. And don’t worry, if you’re a guy (or someone who doesn’t wear a lot of makeup, like me), it’s not going to be a month of skincare finds and makeup tutorials – though I’m not opposed to that – now I feel like I’m being too diplomatic. Anyway, just be sure to come back in December and you’ll see.
Now for today’s post. You know I’m a writer, and I love movies (I want to make movies), but even more than movies, I watch a lot of TV. There was a time in my life, like in my teens during summer break, where I would watch 18 hours of TV a day. Looking back now, I think, How did I do that? But I have to admit, I’m still a pretty big TV fan to this day. I watch about six hours of TV a day as opposed to 18.
One of the shows I’ve been watching in the past four years is “Insecure” created by Issa Rae. I say four years, because I didn’t have HBO the first year it came out, didn’t see season 1 until the DVD was released and I brought it? Oh no – checked it out at the library. And I must say, I’m not a fan.
It’s funny because I have seen every episode of this series. The first two seasons I checked out from the library. Season 3, I think I binged on-demand during an HBO free trial. Season 4 I also saw partially during a free trial of HBO and ended up subscribing to HBO just to see the rest of the season. I’ve had HBO ever since then. Now, I’m faithfully in front of the TV every Sunday night at 7pm when it airs. And, if I can’t be, I DVR it.
Yet, and still, I’m not really a fan of the show. I do it for the culture. I do it to support black culture in Hollywood, but also to take in black culture as member of the television viewing audience who’s inundated with non-black culture on my television screen.
It’s not like I think the show is so terrible – I mean granted, I don’t really like the writing, and I don’t like their excessive use of amber lighting – but I wouldn’t watch it if there were other options. But the fact of the matter is there are no other options of black shows like “Insecure.” At least not that I know of. I actually like the Wine Downs that they do after the show, better than the show itself.
Last Sunday’s show, however was an exception. That show was so fucking well done I was in awe. The writing was superb. The acting was superb, especially compared to the first two episodes of the season which had me thinkin’ is it over yet. This episode drew me in and I didn’t want it to end.
Dialogue is one of the hardest things to get right in a TV show or a movie. And this writer, Jason Lew, I think his name was, was just so fucking spot on. I mean, that argument between Lawrence and Condola (I refuse to give her a mock-name like Canola or Coconut Oil, like I’ve noticed most people on the interwebs have done when referencing her) was so good. Like every response seemed so real, like the argument wasn’t even scripted. That is the level of writing I want to rise to, creating dialogue that seems real and not scripted.
But the theme of this episode, at least as far as I could see, was having a baby with a man who’s not in love with you and doesn’t want to be with you. That’s deep and that’s complex, and this episode it an awesome job highlighting the complexities of that situation.
Now I’m all for equal pay for equal work, but I don’t believe that women and men, are the same, we are different. Yes a woman can be a president, or a scientist, or a CEO, but if I’m stuck in a burning building, please send a big, burly man to save me. And if I need to leave work early because I have terrible menstrual cramps, please let my boss be a woman who’ll understand me (that wasn’t the best example, but hey). I mean just like a wrench is different from a hammer even though the are both tools, men and women are different, and I think it’s irresponsible to try and equate the two.
That difference, is on full display in this episode. Here we see the man, Lawrence, despite having a baby on the way with another woman, is still trying to reignite sparks with his old flame, Issa. And when that doesn’t work out, he’s already on to the next, dating and sleeping with a new woman. Meanwhile, Condola is back home, stewing over the fact that she’s having a baby by a man who doesn’t want her. So mad, in fact, is she that she’s doing underhanded things like not telling him she’s in labor, and informing him of the baby’s arrival via text.
Perhaps she mistook his eagerness to be a part of the baby’s life, despite her antics, including full on naming the baby without his input, as a sign that maybe he wanted to try to work things out with her for the baby’s sake. Otherwise I didn’t understand why she wanted to go to Simone’s one-year birthday party with him as if they were a couple.
It’s clear to me, that there is a part of Condola that wants to have a family with Lawrence, yet she only has a baby with him. And, I think the realization of that in those lonely week days when she’s taking care of the baby on her own, while he’s back in San Francisco livin’ it up in his career and his social life, weighed heavy on her and caused her to act out the way she did.
It’s a classic female response. I’m sure it must be hard to carry a man’s child, someone you were or still are really into, possibly even loved, all the while knowing you’re an afterthought to him, not because he’s a bad person, but just because he’s not into you like that.
Not only raising a child, but also pregnancy, I don’t think was meant for one to go it alone. Obviously only one person can carry the baby and that’s the woman, but that doesn’t mean that the man isn’t still an important part of that process, for nurturing and mental and emotional support, preparation and the like. And I just think this episode was a beautiful display of what happens when a woman doesn’t get that.
While I thought the episode leaned more towards siding with the woman, in the fact that it shows how things can be more difficult for a woman who’s raising a baby by herself, or mostly by herself, I liked the fact that it showed that it wasn’t easy on the guy either. And in this case we’re talking about a good man, not a dead beat dad, but a man who’s willing to take responsibility for the child he helped create. He pays by losing the woman he’s actually in love with. I love how when they were arguing he told her she blew up his life. Like, that’s harsh as fuck, but I love how they put that in there. Because even though his man may love and is willing to support his child, it’s clear that having a baby with a woman you’re not in love with and don’t want to be with, has it’s adverse effects on a man as well, even if it’s not the same way as a woman.
Where they both dropped the ball is not being properly prepared. I mean, the each had at least six months in advance that they knew this child was coming. Even though they weren’t going to be together, they could have worked out the whole visiting situation, his job situation. I mean, he could have started looking for similar jobs in L.A., she could have better prepared herself for what it was going to be like to be parenting alone.
But ultimately, I think this episode is a cautionary tale for both men and women (but especially women) about what can happen when you have casual sex with someone who likes you, maybe even treats you well, but is not committed to you.
Leave a Reply