It’s been about 11 years, and finally I was able to get into my old desktop computer– the kind that had what we called a tower back in those days, and an old analog monitor. The very first computer I ever purchased and I believe it was close to $800. Funny I haven’t purchased a computer that costs that much since. It’s the computer that came with me from California to Georgia, Georgia to New York, New York back to California. Then, after 8 years, in 2011, it just died for some reason.
It died with my unfinished book on it’s hard drive. Died with the electronic copy of my short story in its clutches along with journal entries. I’ve always believed that some way, somehow I would be able to get back in there, that if God allowed me to start this journey of writing, He would allow me to finish it. But the longer I waited, hope began to fade, but you know what they say about faith, you only need the size of a mustard seed…whatever that is…I hear it’s really small.
So this year I got more intentional. Actually it was a few years ago that I researched how to retrieve files from an inoperable computer. It said to put the hard drive of the broken computer into a computer that works. I did that and it worked, the only problem was the broken computer was password protected. I still couldn’t get in. After doing all that work of learning how to restore the computer only to find out it was at the point of no return, then learning how to take the hard drive out and place it in another computer only for it not to work was frustrating. I shelved that project.
A few years later, I did more research on how to gets files off a busted computer and discovered I could purchase an external device that I could hook up to the hard drive and then upload the files on a different computer.
Some years ago I bought such a device online, but never hooked it up to my old hard drive, and years later when I wanted to use it, I couldn’t find all the pieces. So this year I bought another one, and yes, it worked. After a few YouTube videos and googled articles, I was able to get into my old hard drive, password protection be damned!
My primary goals were to get the electronic copy of my short story because I want to turn it into a novella – it’s already long enough – and self-publish it. But, if I could come across the book I conceived of back when I was 16 and started writing when I was in college, but never finished, that would be an added bonus.
And what do you know, I did. I came across that book. I have several chapters written, chapters that I had written in my 20s. It was so interesting to read my voice back then. For the most part I thought I was a not so good writer who could occasionally turn out good shit. It took me forever to write things, but I was never satisfied. I’m largely still that way. I think not as much as I used to be, else I wouldn’t be writing here, but I’m still very much a perfectionist when it comes to my writing. I’m my own biggest fan and worst critic.
I opened the first chapter of my unfinished book and began to read. And I must say, I marveled at my writing. Of course it could use some work, because hey, it’s rare that I’ll ever think it couldn’t. But I really liked my writing-voice from back then. It had notes of Zora Neale Hurston and Toni Morrison.
Now I know what some of you are probably thinking didn’t she say she’s not a fan of Toni Morrison back in that “The Director” post? But it’s not that I don’t like her writing-style, I just don’t like the subject matter I came across in the books I’ve read. I’ve only read two books in their entirety written by Toni Morrison: The Bluest eye, which I wasn’t a fan of, and Sula, which I liked. I was assigned Beloved in an ethnic and minority literature class, but I wasn’t into it and didn’t finish it.
For the most part, I don’t like her focus on slavery and the segregated south. What I do like is her writing style. She does not take forever to get to the point. She’s descriptive and yet concise at the same time, a quality I noticed in Yaa Gyassi’s popular debut novel “Homecoming” which was heavily influenced by Toni Morrision.
I remember some of those novels I was assigned in college I could skip ahead about 15-20 pages, and not miss much of nothing, but with Toni Morrison’s work, I could do no such thing. I’d turn ahead 3-4 pages, and be totally caught off-guard with the progression of the story.
The one thing I did like about “The Bluest Eye” is the background story she gave each character, so that even if I didn’t like the character, I at least got a chance to see where they were coming from. I at least understood how they got to be the way they are.
I’ve borrowed that style in some of my own fiction writing.
Anyway, I said all that to say, I liked the writing-voice I discovered when I was reading that opening chapter. I just thought I was more descriptive than I am now, and I wrote with more soul, like the difference between soft rock and R&B. Soft rock is nice, but give me some R&B, please. There was a time when I thought I would just give up on that story. Afterall, it’s been so long. But now I think I want to revisit it.
But yes, I have the electronic copy of my short story which means it’s time to start editing it. I think it was 48-pages single-spaced, which I don’t understand, because the printed copy I have is 37-pages. But whatever. I was thinking if I edited seven pages a day, I could finish in a week. However will I actually edit seven pages a day?
I guess I could if I put my mind to it. We’ll see. I’m only editing for grammar and syntax, I’m not changing the story. I want to stay true to my 20-something’s voice. Then once I finish editing, I have to hire an editor to edit it, because there is only so much that I can catch. I need a professional for to handle this. So I’ll need to research for and hire and editor, a cover artist and a printing company.
There’s a lot of work ahead, but baby steps…hastened baby steps.
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