I’ve lived in my apartment for a long time – longer than I care to share here, though one day I will tell, perhaps in a book. There are things that I like about this apartment like the size – it’s the size of a small house, about 1100 square feet I presume. It gets a lot of light, gets beautiful views of the sunset; it’s pretty cheap compared to the going rents around these parts, and it’s here.
The cheaper rent has really come in handy in those times when I was out of work. But not only that, the cheaper rent makes it easier to do a lot of things, like eat out or travel occasionally – both of which would not be possible otherwise.
But at the same time, the place is old and somewhat decrepit. The dishwasher is decades-outdated and doesn’t work, in fact it has never worked. The stove is also old, and some years ago the burners decided they wouldn’t turn on without a lighter. Both of these appliances I think were probably here the year this place was built in the late 60s, if not shortly thereafter. The kitchen and bathrooms need to be renovated and the carpet needs to be replaced. And I can’t forget about the popcorn that needs to be removed from the ceiling. Then there’s the issue of neighbors who like to blast their music at all hours of the night and even day.
Yet for years now, I’ve been willing to put up with all of that, you know, reasoning that I was making the best of a not so ideal situation.
And then I saw a rat.
It’s funny how I noticed him, I was going in and out of sleep around 5:30 in the morning, when I saw the silhouette of something in the hall, right outside my door. You know when you’re half sleep and you’re not sure if you’re dreaming or actually awake, not sure if you’re seeing things. But then it moved and I was certain. I screamed and it took off toward the living room.
Immediately, we reported it to the landlord and went out to buy traps. Later that day, my mom saw it in the kitchen, so we barricaded it in there with traps, but this little motherfucka was too smart. He managed to successfully avoid or escape every trap we set for him. His ass is clearly a career home invader – it’s not his first time at the rodeo.
How does it feel to be outsmarted by vermin? I refuse to tell you…though I know.
Ever since I saw him, almost three weeks ago, I haven’t been able to sleep well. It’s a rare occasion that I get good sleep anymore anyway, but now my slumber is really messed up knowing that this nasty little critter has been lurking around. Now I sleep with the light on. There’s lights on all throughout the apartment, like Lionel Richie said, all night long. They don’t go off till the sun comes up. So now in addition to scaring the shit out of me, this thing is costing me extra money.
I was previously traumatized by seeing mice in my apartment when I lived in New York. I lived in four different places and three of them had mice. One time, as I was headed to work, a mouse and I had a standoff. Just as I was about to exit the door of the room I rented, I saw the tiniest mouse that you ever did see standing between me and the door. It stood still facing me and I, of course, was frozen with fear wondering how I was going to get pass it and out the door. Then after a few moments of sizing me up that mouse was like, “you ain’t gon do nothin’” and had the nerve to run across my feet.
Needless to say, after run-ins with the intrepid mice of New York, it just makes this current encounter even harder to deal with. It brings back horrific memories.
I couldn’t help but ask God why. Why would He allow this thing to come in here when He knows I’d be terrified of it. I’m also on this kick now where I’m trying to turn negatives into positives and a thought came to me that maybe God is allowing this rat to show me, in no uncertain terms, that it’s time to get the fuck up outta here.
I’ve been so accustomed to trying to make the best of substandard situations for so long, in so many different situations that it’s become my default-setting. This isn’t what I want, but let me make the most of it. I don’t like this, but it’s better than nothing. This isn’t enough, but somebody else would be happy to have it. But instead of trying to make the most of a bad situation, maybe it’s time that I have faith that I can change my bad situation.
Exactly how I’m going to do that, I’m not quite sure yet. But I know there’s gotta be a way and it’s gotta get done.
This place had its place, and in some ways it’s been a blessing. But you can be thankful for something and leave it. You can be thankful for something and still know it’s time to move on.
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