And what better way to celebrate other than…you guessed it, eating some food. That caused me to pile the pounds back on to the tune of 234 pounds. I’ve since dropped back down to 227 pounds. My ultimate goal is probably 140 or 150. But my new goal in the interim is 215 pounds, however I haven’t managed to get back to the lower 220s just yet. As a matter of fact, the lowest I’ve gotten was 224 back in May and I haven’t seen that number on the scale since. It’s interesting how the lower the number gets, the harder it is to obtain and maintain.
Getting out of the 50s was not so hard. I mean, it was hard initially, but once I got the ball rolling, it seemed like I saw the 40s on the scale in no time. Then I rolled through the 40s pretty nicely. The 30s presented a different challenge and I stayed there for a while.
The last time I’d seen 230 on the scale was back in 2020. It was in March to be exact. I went to the doctor, got on the scale and saw a whopping 230 pounds after having been in the 2-teens for several months, but the Christmas season of 2019 did me in. I thought, I can’t have this, only for the pandemic to intensify. It had me eating snacks and lying around – next thing I knew I was 246. Once I’d gotten in the 2-teens, I thought I’d gotten rid of that 230 number for good. Who knew I would surpass it beyond my wildest imagination. Seeing 230 on the scale that day was so disappointing.
Six years later and 230 would return. Funny, how that number that disappointed me so six years ago now felt like an accomplishment. Felt like I’d never reach it again. Felt like it was too distant for me from 255, even with the effort I put in, and then there it was. What was once a marker of a failure in one season was an accomplishment in another. If I wanted to get further, I had to pass back by that way again.
Lately I’ve been revisiting my old Bible studies—ones I used to do when I woke up in the morning, or before I went to bed at night when I was in my late teens and early twenties, basically my college years. I look back and marvel at the patience I had to study like I did back then. I mean I used to really get into that Bible, because I wanted to know it for myself and not just go off what a preacher said.
Back then, I would stick with a chapter, or even a verse for a while. I wouldn’t move on until I felt like the Lord was speaking something to me through it. Now in this new apps and information age, my attention span has decreased. My mind has always wandered, but it really wanders now…I blame social media.
Anyway, the story I came upon recently, was the story of Noah. There were several lessons I recorded in my notebook that I believe God was teaching me through Noah’s story including, walking by faith, trusting God, how being connected to the right people can benefit you, having patience and how to wait just to name more than a few.
A lot of those lessons are connected, but the ones that stand out to me, especially in this current season in my life, are about patience and waiting. In my study, which was hand-written by the way, I created a whole timeline from the time God told Noah to build the ark to the time he exited it. I’ve heard all kinds of figures regarding how long it took for Noah to build the ark. My study didn’t look into that.
Also, it apparently never rained before. Now that part I heard from a preacher, because I can’t tell from what I’ve read in the Bible. What is clear is that God had never sent a flood to destroy all of humanity before this. So regardless of whether it had rained before or not, this whole ark building thing was new. God had called Noah to do something that had no precedent.
Oh that reminds me, another lesson is obedience. Noah was obedient as fuck. Oh, and another one is putting in the work. I mean God could have literally snapped His fingers and an ark would have appeared. Or better yet, He could have just said the word, and there goes an ark. But instead, He made Noah work for it. That just made me think of the faith and trust in God Noah had to have to begin building something new – something that he, or no one else for that matter, had seen before. But not only did he have faith and trust, he had patience and he knew how to wait for it during the building process.
One part I was particularly struck by, was the part where God told Noah to go into the ark seven days before the rain began. I found that interesting because not only did Noah build this thing without any signs of a flood, he also entered it without any signs of a flood. I mean he literally went into the ark with everything still dry as fuck outside, and he in there chillin’ with the animals and his family for seven days.
I’d like to think that I could have held out for two or three days without making a fuss, but realistically, I probably would have been in there a few hours (and I’m being generous) before I would be like c’mon Jesus, or question whether God was real at all. But he sat in that ark and waited patiently. Then it rained for 40 days and 40 nights.
Now I don’t care if you live in a well-appointed mansion, enduring 40 days and 40 nights of rain is torture that was made all the worse by being in that tiny space with your family and all those animals.
If that wasn’t bad enough, once the rain stopped, they still had to wait for the water to recede. That took even longer than the entire time it rained. In total, he was in that ark for like a year and some change before he could reach his goal of starting a new world.
That is true of so many things in life, in this case it’s also true of weight loss. When you start a weight loss journey, you have to do a lot of things without initially seeing any results. In the beginning, eating right doesn’t move the scale, exercising doesn’t move the scale, fasting doesn’t move the scale, sometimes for a while…until it does. Even when it does, when you finish one thing, just like Noah, there’s still more to do.
After Noah built the ark, he had to get in the ark before it rained. Then God had him posted in the ark for seven days, still with no rain. After it rained, it still wasn’t time for him to come out. He still had to wait. It’s like at every turn, Noah had to keep the faith, keep believing, keep waiting and demonstrate his trust in God through his actions.
I feel like losing weight is so similar. You have to do a bunch of stuff without seeing results, and when the results finally come, it gets harder. There’s yet another thing you have to do to make progress. Getting out of the 250s, for me, was pretty easy. Those pounds basically started dropping when I started my retail job. I mean going from spending most of my time in my bed, to all that walking had me seeing the pounds falling off even without any change in my diet.
After being in the 250s for over two years, I was excited to see the 240s again. I stayed there . I felt a little less tired all the time. A little less sluggish. During that time, I did a bit more exercise and some intermittent fasting. Oh, also I was in customer service at the department store I worked at, so basically I was at the cash registers the majority of the time.
At the cash registers there were these huge square poles that was covered in mirrors. When I first saw myself in it, I internally gasped. I was like are these fun house mirrors, because I am not that big. Only problem was when the other ladies walked pass the mirror, their images were true to size. That could only mean I was indeed that big. And that too, became a motivator.
Anyway, I stayed in the 240s for a minute, I was basically maintaining there. Then Pastor Toure Roberts (PT what they call him) called for no sugar in the month of March. With sugar being a major weakness of mine, I decided to join them. I lost like 8 pounds during that month, putting me below 235 when April came around. Two thirty five was a whole 20 pounds less than my heaviest weight. I think it took me to get there in order to really begin to feel it. That and other people started to see it and started commenting on my weight loss. So that was a bit of extra motivation to help me keep going. I exercised more and watched what I ate. I tried to limit my fast food intake as well as sweets, though I started right back up in April and have been enjoying them ever since. Then somehow, when May rolled around, I got on the scale and was 224 lbs. I realize that 224 is still a big number, but when I saw that, I felt skinny. What other way does a big girl celebrate than to eat! I eat my way back up to 234. I exercised a bit more, stayed away from fast food,did some intermittent fasting and drank some green tea. Now I’m hovering somewhere between 227 and 230. I haven’t seen 224 again since May. But I don’t know. We’ll see.
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