Once upon a time, KevOnStage’s posts started popping up in my Instagram feed, unprovoked. Since he had some good preachin’ in some of them, I went ahead and followed him. After that, what was once a trickle, turned into a flood of posts, filled less with the Word, and more with shenanigans—the man is, after all, a comedian. One such post I came across, not too long ago, featured Kev’s commentary about a response podcaster Jemele Hill made to a commenter on her Threads account which served as a prime example of the latter.
Now I have no idea what Jemele initially said before homeboy (I’m pretty sure it was a man) decided to enter her comment section, but I’ma take a wild guess and say said commenter didn’t like it. Or maybe he just didn’t like her for whatever reason and thus, he wrote, “You sending random strays to make a point is why you on threads with me and not ESPN.”
With that right there perhaps one could say he wanted all the smoke that was to come. Thhttps://www.insidehook.com/sports/jemele-hill-espn-departure-conservative-cultureere is also the possibility that he could have thought that he offered such a punishing tongue-lashing with those words that he had finished her, leaving her with nothing left to say. He did, after all, touch on one of the cardinal examples of what’s often considered a career failure in society– losing a high-paying, high profile job at a national network to join the masses on social media.
Now you could say she didn’t lose her job, she left. However, the circumstances surrounding her departure didn’t make it seem like they wanted her to stay. That type of career change is often looked upon as a demotion, embarrassing, shameful.
I remember seeing on the internet, years ago, two people had ordered a rideshare service only to find that Yung Joc was their driver. They were like, “ain’t you Young Joc,” or whatever they said, and when he confirmed, the one dude made fun of him saying he “fell off.” People making fun of a grown man for making an honest living, regardless of what he did before, is crazy. However, one thing I’ve come to know is that whenever someone is making fun of someone else, best believe someone, somewhere is giving them just as much hell, if not more, in their own lives. And to take it another further – and forgive me for being prejudice and stereotyping the riders as obviously I could be entirely wrong about this but – they didn’t seem like they were livin’ high on the hog either. They were, after all, using an off brand rideshare service. Them broke ones be the main ones, sometimes, want to make fun of you. It’s like excuse me sweetie, but whatchu do? But even if they had tons of money in the bank, that doesn’t give anyone the right to make fun of someone else’s honest work. It’s unfortunate we live in a culture that instigates that.
Now, this ain’t just no jive talk I’m givin’ you. I know, personally, from whence I speak. About a year ago, after two years of unemployment, getting ghosted, rejected and ignored repeatedly by employers, I finally landed a job – only thing is, it was for a part-time hourly role as a cashier at a department store after having a salaried position before. And of course it was just my luck that after a few days on the register, someone I used to work with from my old salaried job would waltz into that store. Fortunately, I did not have to ring her up. Still, she managed to land at the register right next to mine, buying stuff that cost more than my weekly paycheck would render (even before they take out the taxes). Thankfully, I didn’t notice her at first, so I didn’t have to put any effort into appearing unbothered and unashamed as I assisted the rest of the strangers in line, giving them my best customer service performance, my best customer service smile. Once I did recognize her though, shame immediately visited me and hung out for a while. Still, I made a point of not shrinking myself. I spoke commandingly, laughed loudly at a customer’s not so funny joke, folded and bagged her items carefully, before sending her off with a thank you, and called confidently for the next guest. I know she noticed me too, but she didn’t look my way. We never made eye contact. That would turn out to be my only relief from the shame – me not saying anything to her, her not saying anything to me, but we both knew. Putting on those performances got me through the day, and when she was gone, I put her away. But on the drive home, I was revisited by shame.
What made it even worse is that this wasn’t like a couple of months after I lost my job, this was a whole two years later and I still hadn’t managed to get anything better than a cashier job at a mid-range department store. Unlike Yung Joc, no one made any joke about me…at least not to my face. But they didn’t have to. Sometimes the pervasive sentiment around such circumstances is so encroaching, the joke doesn’t need to be said. You still feel it anyway.
So when KevOnstage read the comment that man left on Jemele’s page, it was clear this guy had tapped into society’s definition of career success—the same definition that made me feel shame as a cashier. The same definition that fueled those ride sharers to make fun of Yung Joc. Then he determined that Jemele didn’t fit the success bill and went for the jugular. The only problem for him was…she knew how to stop the bleeding. Instead of hemorrhaging, she served up a little slicing and dicing of her own…to his ego, to his manhood or any other hood he may venture to trek, for undoubtedly hurt and pain would follow him there.
Jemele’s response was: “Only one of us is paid to give their opinion – and it’s me. What you think I failed at wasn’t even possible for you.”
Let’s break that down a little bit, shall we? “Only one of us is paid to give their opinion – and it’s me.” See now that part right there? That was like the papercut sting. You know, it hurts bad, but it’s manageable.
Then she hit him with the, “What you think I failed at wasn’t even possible for you.” Uh, rah mah, now that? That was a “Someone please call 911. The alleged assailant is 5’1. And she shot me through my soul, feel my body getting cold, so coolllldd” type sting.
Now you could say, for all intents and purposes, dude had it coming. You might even say that being humiliated in front of however many people saw that clapback on Jemele’s Threads page was punishment enough, but when KevOnstage got a hold of it, he took it to a-whole-nother level. Matter of fact, I’m not even on Threads, and I don’t follow Jemele on Instagram and it got to me. In general Kevon has a much bigger social media reach than Jemele, so once he posted about it, it was really game over. Kev didn’t just mention it, he made a whole joke out of it. Next thing you knew, Jemele done went and made a T-shirt out of the saying.
Again, you may say that’s what he gets, and I don’t know that I could completely say that you are wrong. The only problem is with that phrase “what you think I failed at wasn’t even possible for you,” that commenter wasn’t the only one who got got. I too caught some strays from that clapback. Like she wasn’t even talking to me and my feelings were hurt. And I’m pretty sure it’s not a stretch to say that I wasn’t the only one feeling that way.
In this current economic climate, I’ve heard a lot about the 600,000 black women who recently lost their jobs. And one of the things that’s been so notable about that statistic, is that I believe these were largely good paying jobs, solidly middle-class, if not some upper-middle-class jobs. I’m talkin’ some six figure and multiple six figure jobs. And since black women are so often the backbone of their families, financially and otherwise, we know that loss of income is a major blow to the community. But the thing I haven’t heard about as much lately, is that for every one of those 600,000 black women who lost their jobs, there were countless other black women who never made it to their status – black women who applied for the higher-paying role and didn’t get it, who asked for the raise and was denied, who were discouraged from trying again or trying at all, who reasoned that they just weren’t good enough.
It’s these black women – and of course it’s not just black women but women in general, hell people in general – who’ve aspired to or maybe even worked towards something they didn’t achieve for whatever reason, who I believe also caught strays from Jemele’s clapback.
It was also interesting to see the people in the comments who were cosigning Jemele’s response. People like Tamron Hall and Bozoma St. John. Like Jemele, both of those women have risen to incredible heights in their careers, while also experiencing setbacks or failures. At the same time, both women have also managed to fail forward, moving on to other socially aggrandized milestones in their careers.
I think when you’ve had that type of success, even amongst failures, it’s hard to be mindful of the experience of others whose outcomes didn’t turn out as well. Of those who don’t know what it’s like to have a job of their dreams. Who haven’t had the privilege of their dream job turning into a nightmare because all their jobs have only been nightmares that they’ve managed to survive… or not.
When you’ve had success like Tamron Hall, Bozoma St. John or even Kevonstage, regardless of your failures, it’s easy to credit your results to yourself and your hard work and your talent, rather than to chance, or being chosen, or being liked. When you’ve had success like that, the system often fools you into thinking you’re better than all the ones who didn’t make it.
To me, that’s essentially what Jemele was saying in her comment of, “what you think I failed at wasn’t even possible for you.” She was basically saying I’m better than you. To me it came across as, I may not be working at ESPN anymore, but at least I was good enough to do it, whereas you are not even good enough to work at that level. And the problem with that I think is, that most people who follow Jemele, look up to Jemele, aspire to be like Jemele in what she’s doing now or before at ESPN, will never have an opportunity to work there. It doesn’t mean that she’s better than them. It just means that their life paths are different.
My thing is, Jemele may not have as big of an audience as she once had working at ESPN, but she still has power and influence. And while I don’t think people in the public eye have a responsibility to be a role model or an inspiration to their audience if they don’t want to, I also think that it’s not a bad idea if they do want to.
To me it’s not about “when they go low, we go high,” as Michelle Obama said. Or, “when they go low, we go to the earth’s crust,” like Cardi B said, or was that, Sunny Hostin? Anyway, I think ultimately it’s about looking at the bigger picture and starting to categorize people like homeboy who made the insulting comment as the distraction that he is rather than as relevant.
We have to learn to ignore the distractions.
Recently Kevonstage made another post about WNBA player Aja Wilson. In it, he referenced a photo of her with a hand in her face and how she didn’t let that stop her from scoring. I think that’s the type of response that we need to an insult.
Jasmine Guy’s recent response to negative comments on social media regarding her looks is another prime example of this. Unlike a lot of the people who came to her defense, she didn’t put down the people who had negative things to say about her, nor did she turn on herself and become self-deprecating. She just simply said, in such an eloquent way:
The internet can be brutal to women as we grow older. It asks us to celebrate life while criticizing every sign that we’ve lived it.
Growing older brings change, and I won’t pretend every change is easy. But beauty, style, and joy don’t have an expiration date. Let’s spend less time judging ourselves and each other, and more time loving each other, making memories, and living the life we’re here to live ❤️
While Jemele’s response was definitely a mic drop moment, far more celebrated (and I wouldn’t be surprised if among those celebrating are a number of folks also secretly licking their wounds) than the dig her insulter aimed at her. Underneath it all, it also came across as if she too didn’t get out of this thing unscathed. The sharpness of her comment, the precision with which she dismantled him leads me to believe that she was triggered by his words. Often times people are triggered because somewhere inside of them, at least a part of them believes the insult to be true. To me it came across as if her exit from ESPN is still a touchy subject for her. It gives me the impression that it’s still an open wound. If so, that’s something to which we can all relate.
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