(From August 30, 2026, but I never posted it)
You’ve probably heard of method acting, where an actor essentially embodies the character they’re playing even when they are not shooting, at least I think that’s what method acting is. Well, on my latest writing project, you could say I was doing method writing of sorts. You know how they say you should have a finished copy of whatever type of writing you want to do ready to go in case opportunity knocks? Well, a TV pilot is one type of writing that I don’t have on hand, so I thought, I should probably write one. Recently I had this idea for a show. I wanted to be an half hour comedy, perhaps a dramady like Sex and the City, but it turned out to be a one hour drama. Of course I added some comic relief in there to break up the seriousness, but overall, this pilot proved to be quite heavy for me. I am really craving a cup of noodles right now, but anyway I was getting all the feels—and not in a good way—exploring this character and all her misfortunes, her series of unfortunate events…or are they?
The things that happen in this pilot are the type that make folks say, “when it rains it pours,” or as my Grandmother used to say, “the devil is busy.” I know, when the idea popped in my head to write this that the premise would be heavy, but then it just kinda snowballed into a little bit more than I anticipated, a little bit more than I originally thought.
In writing it, I had to revisit the areas in my life that were similar. Even for the the areas that were not, I had to extrapolate from familiar hurt, and apply it to unfamiliar pain. Rejection is rejection, no matter how it comes. Betrayal is betrayal. Disappointment is disappointment. Being fooled is being fooled. No matter if the stimuli are different the effect is very similar if not the same. So when I wrote these hurtful events for this character, it triggered the hurt and pain I felt when painful things happened to me. It was almost too much to bear. It slowed me down, but I did finish…at least the first draft.
But yeah, I’m excited for this pilot. Just on my own. Nobody has commissioned me to write it. I have no idea if I will ever make it, if it will ever get sold. Despite the heaviness of it, it’s fun to write. I like the concept of it. I like this character. I’m still getting to know her though. She’s interesting and mysterious, which kinda makes me think that maybe I won’t get to know her as I do with some of my other characters. Maybe I’ll just write.
In other news, I finally got a full-time job. It is a temp job with an end date, that may be extended (I had to throw that in there), which means I now have a little bit of money to buy clothes that express my style. I feel like I’m losing my sense of style. I’m trying to hold on to it, but it feels like it’s escaping me. The last thing I remember getting is a shirt from Old Navy a year ago. Before that, the next newest thing in my closet is about three years old. I’m on a strict budget so I went out shopping today at Ross, Marshall, DSW and Old Navy. I’ve never really been an fan of shopping and trying on clothes on my plus-sized body, because those dressing room mirrors under those fluorescent lights are like a good friend who tells you the truth even when you don’t want to hear it. How I think I’m going to look as I pull that clothing item from the rack to how I look when I’m in the mirror at home, is not how I look in the dressing room. And it’s good, I’m not faulting it. That dressing room mirror is a deterrent from you buying something you know you’re not going to look good in, feel confident in. But still, it is a frustrating process.
Plus, my body has changed over the last few years. My old clothes seem to have adjusted with me, conformed to me. These news seem to have no clue of what to do. They haven’t learned the tricks of the trade to flatter me
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