Oprah has this saying she would often mention on her show: “God can dream a bigger dream for you than you dream for yourself.” I never quite understood that because I would always be thinking, “Have you seen my dreams?” Like the only way God could dream a bigger dream for me than I dream for myself is if His dream was for me to take His place (blasphemous I know), otherwise there’s nothing good or desirable under the sun I haven’t already dreamed for myself.
The only thing is, my dreams have always been trapped off in someday, some sure yet unknown day off in my future. Problem is, the older I’ve gotten those future days have turned into present days with my dreams from yesterdays still unrealized.
I was trying to sound all lyrical and poetic for a moment there, but I can’t keep it going so let me put this another way…
Basically what I’m sayin’ is, I never thought I had a problem with dreaming, my problem had to do more with doing. Because the path to realizing a big dream from nothing is not a clear one. Hell, not only is it not a clear one, often times it’s not even there. You have to carve it out along the way.
Then one day I was studying the Bible and it hit me. All of a sudden Oprah’s saying made sense to me, and I realized I wasn’t dreaming my biggest dream. By the way I totally forgot what I was studying, but I can look it up later.
But anyway, it was such a revelation to me when I got it. My problem is not dreaming big, my problem is having the faith in the smalls steps you must first take before you can get to the big dreams. My problem is even in having the medium-sized dreams that come before the big dreams. It’s funny, I can see myself having the world, but it’s hard for me to believe I’ll ever be a paid writer, or be able to buy a house, or support myself. So those are the things that in essence are God’s bigger dreams for me.
I’m realizing now that it’s all relative. Because for me, starting to believe that I have what it takes to take those initial small steps, is God dreaming a bigger dream for me than I could dream for myself.
Strangely enough, I now see how dreaming big dreams has been somewhat of a cop out for me. It’s a way of not dealing with whatever I don’t like in the reality of my today, because I could always look off into that someday in my head when things would be better – when I would have the things that I want, the career that I want, the life that I want.
In my teens, I had great dreams about what I would be in my 20s, but I didn’t make it.
In my 20s, I had great dreams about what I would be in my 30s, but I didn’t make it.
Now I’m 40, and I’m like damn, I can’t keep going like this. Someday has gotta be today.
So I’ve got to renew my mind, change my thinking, and do something different. I can’t just set goals, I have to create a plan to reach them. This includes, small, incremental, measurable goals that will allow me to cheer myself on.
So yeah, my biggest dream right now, is to get used to dreaming small. My biggest dream right now is to access what I have today and use it. My biggest dream right now is to finish and post this entry before midnight.
Mission Accomplished…On to the next!
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