So I know I said I would have my fired story posted today, but alas, I didn’t finish it. Honestly, it has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to write. There are so many emotions associated with it, so much trauma, so many triggers. I was officially fired on August 2nd, and I’ve been trying to write this story for a while now, probably like since the end of August. Until recently, I haven’t been able to work on it for more than like an hour or so before it becomes too painful, before I need to get away from it. Then I thought maybe I would just let it go, you know, not think about it, not write about it at all and just move on from it, move on with my life. After all, I have other things to write about. Hello, can someone say my book?
I mean, writing is a painful exploit for me to begin with and you add on a traumatic event like getting fired into the mix, and it becomes exponentially harder. That’s why in the multiple attempts I’ve had at writing this thing I wanted to just leave it alone and walk away…but I couldn’t. I felt like I needed to write this story. I felt like someone needed to read it. Furthermore, I feel like I can’t go on to write anything else until I get this thing out of me. And so I persisted and now the story has become really long. I spent about three hours on it yesterday, and another three today, and several more hours last month, but not that much more. Now I have this clear idea of what I want it to be and this clear idea of how I want to tell it. Of course, being clear in my head doesn’t easily translate to being clear on the page. I just feel like I want to do it justice. So, I don’t know, I didn’t make it today, but I’ll try again tomorrow.
What I did not want to do, however, is leave you hanging. I’m determined to do a post everyday this month…I hope I make it, though I feel like I should say I will make it…I think I will.
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