It’s 10:23pm and I’ve just started writing. I did not work on anything regarding self-publishing my book today.
In other news, my high-top Converse came in today. Actually, a pair came in yesterday as well. I ended up ordering three pairs. The first pair I ordered from Urban Outfitters in the burnt orange color. Orange is my favorite color and I thought this hue would be great for fall. But as I scrolled through looks online, I saw a lot of outfits being paired with black or white ones not colored ones. I mean there were some colored Converse, but most were black or white. And as I thought about my wardrobe, as much as I love orange, I asked myself was there really much in my closet I could wear burnt orange Converse with. I could get creative, I’m not really into being matchy-matchy, but being honest with myself, my answer was leaning towards no.
So I went back online and looked for some black high top Converse and I bought those as well. I figured I would try both on and see which ones I liked best and then send back the other…or send back both…or keep them both if they really struck my fancy.
While I waited for the shoes to arrive, I kept checking them out online to see how I felt about them. That’s when I came across the burnt orange pair on sale at Nordstrom for $20 less than what I paid at Urban Outfitters. I didn’t even wait for the ones from Urban Outfitters to arrive first to see if I liked them. I just purchased them from Nordstrom as well, knowing that I was going to have to return one or both pairs.
It’s a good thing I brought the extra pair from Nordstrom, because the ones Urban Outfitter sent were two sizes too small. I wear an 11 in women, 9 in men. They sent me a 9 in women 7 in men.
With feet my size, something I was also concerned about was just how big these shoes were going to look. I mean my feet are the length that they are, but I don’t need them to be elongated any more than they already are, especially since my legs are kinda short. I may be 5’8 but I think I have a longer torso. Anyway, when those size 9 in women arrived, I was pleasantly surprised that the shoes didn’t look that long after all, only to feel like Cinderella’s stepsisters when I could barely squeeze my foot into the shoe. It wasn’t until then that I looked at the box and realized that they’d sent me the wrong size.
And then there’s the color. I found these shoes by googling orange converse. Sure they were a darker variety of orange, but they were orange nonetheless. That is until I showed them to my mom who thought they were brown. The official color Converse calls them is tawny owl. I actually didn’t know what that was and just looked it up right now. It says it’s a light brown to brownish-orange color.
But the thing is, before my mom said anything all I saw was orange. I wanted orange. But now that she mentioned it, and looking at the shoe against my brown skin, it definitely looks brown.
My size 11s came in from Nordstrom today. The box from Urban Outfitter came in all nice and neat – they put the shoe box in a box. The box from Nordstrom came in all beat up and damaged – they stuck the shoe box in plastic and das it. That’s a little aside there, but anyway, when the shoes arrived and I opened the box, there was no mistaking these were my size 11s. They were the long ones that I’m used to.
I tried them on, and they weren’t bad, but I just wasn’t into them like I thought I would be. I tried them on with my white jeans, my black pants. I tried them on with a skirt – not a skirt that I would wear them with, but just to see how they would look with exposed leg. I didn’t get to try them on with my leggings because I only have one pair and their dirty, but from the fits or half-fits that I saw them paired with, the shoes just weren’t doing it for me.
I wonder is it because the shoes are bigger than the ones that arrived first? Is it because I wanted orange and now they just look brown to me? Or is it because I’m just not into high-top shoes and yet I convinced myself that I was because I consumed so many cute looks online featuring that style?
It’s interesting to me how we can sometimes see what we want to see, hear what we want to hear, believe what we want to believe. I saw size 9s and even though they looked smaller than my normal shoe, I didn’t even think twice that they weren’t 11s, so happy was I to have a shoe that wasn’t so long. I wanted orange shoes, and didn’t even consider that they were anything other than burnt orange until it was brought to my attention that they look brown. I wanted to create my own version of the high-top fashion aesthetic after seeing so many cute looks online, disregarding the fact that I’ve never really been into high-tops….
I was going somewhere with this, then my flow was interrupted and it’s almost midnight so I don’t have time to try and get it back. It had something to do with how easy it is to be delusional, either because we’re influenced by someone else’s opinion or fueled by our own desires. Perhaps I will explore this concept more at another time, but for now, take from it what you will.
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