Since Monday’s almost over, here I am.
I had so many plans in my head for today. I would make some phone calls, write, go outside…and, well, yeah, none of that happened. I stayed up late watching TV, watching YouTube, still woke up early, but woke up tired. I remember there was a time when I didn’t understand what people meant when they said they woke up tired. Like how does that happen? How does that feel? Now I know all too well.
This whole quarantine thing has really got me in a funk. My energy is lagging, my motivation is lacking, and I need some sun. To top it all off, I’m gaining weight. I’d picked up a good 15 pounds during the holiday season, and now with this quarantine going on, I’ve put on about five more. And yet, something in me right now is contemplating going to McDonalds for some chicken McNuggets and fries. But I won’t go, I’ll just make a bowl of cereal – yeah, a bowl of multi-grain Cheerios.
I was actually working on a piece to post today called “Something Better,” but I was getting writer’s block and so I squashed – no, more like put it on hold for now. So I guess I did write today (other than this post), but not that much. Eventually I’ll post it. I should have worked on it more over the weekend. I really need to make a schedule and stick to it, but that’s something that has proven to be really challenging for me.
Tomorrow, I’m definitely going to go outside. I just need some fresh air and some sun. I’ve been thinking about getting an exercise bike, or maybe even a real bike. I’ve wanted a bike for a long time now, but I don’t want to put it together. I would love to ride my bike down to the grocery store. I also need to buy myself some leisure wear. Like I need some clothes that will keep me comfy at home, yet presentable enough to go out at a moments notice. When I’ve had enough of being inside and say to myself, “let me just go take a ride, or sit in the park,” I’d already be wearing something that allows me to be seen in public, rather than rummaging through my limited wardrobe for something other than my ‘round-the-house rags to put on.
Maybe I’ll do some online shopping, for some shit on sale of course.
I’m trying to end this post on a positive note. I feel like I went on a rant. Maybe the positive note is that I got this post out, or is that like a super low bar? But then again, it’s better than nothing. Maybe the best way to end it will be just to say until morrow.
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