Experience is a good teacher. It takes someone like me to know. – Miki Howard, Love Under New Management.
Last night, I had just gotten in about an hour or so prior from my long drive back from Las Vegas, when I turned on the TV to see Coco Gauff was playing, up a set and winning the second set, when the Tennis Channel broke into her game to show Serena’s match.
I’m always nervous and excited before watching Serena play, thinking that she’ll probably win, but knowing she could very well lose. Especially nowadays, because it’s a new day for the superstar where she’s simply not as dominant as she used to be. But I wasn’t prepared for this. Not only are younger players, lower-ranked players or just players in general not really intimidated by her any more, but she’s been plagued with injuries too.
Yes, we call her the GOAT, and rightly so. And yes, she has 23 Grand Slam titles, four gold medals, and the list could go on. But she’s also human. People can say the Wimbledon people should take better care of the grass so that it’s not as slippery, but when you’re 39, playing with a heavily taped up leg, playing an opponent who’s exploiting your weakness by making you move, if it wasn’t the wet grass, it could have very well been something else.
I once heard it said, in regards to great athletes, that father time is undefeated. Of course, that simply means, that no matter how great an athlete is, no matter how good they are at their sport, the older you get, you just can’t keep up the way you did when you were younger. Kobe even said, when he retired, his mind wants to keep going but his body won’t let him—or something to that effect, you get the point.
The point is, at some point, you have to stop. Only Serena can decide when that point is for her. And whenever that is, while she may be old in the sport, she’ll still be young in life.
And I think the question that she’s dealing with now—and let me preface this by saying I don’t know her, but I like to give my two cents and psychoanalyze people, so here I go—is who am I if I’m not playing tennis? But not only that, it’s who am I if I’m not winning, if I don’t at least meet, but more importantly exceed Margaret Court’s record of 24 grand slam wins?
I recently got HBO Max, well I’ve had it for a minute now, but I’ve only watched the channel, never logged in to watch the internet version, but when “In the Heights” came out I just had to see it, so there you go.
But anyway, on HBO Max they have this docuseries Serena did a few years ago called “Being Serena.” I watched the whole thing, and on there she seemed to indicate she defined herself by winning. Like she doesn’t know who she is if she’s not winning. Of course, this is my interpretation of it, I didn’t really study it, I was just watching it late night, early morning and was intrigued.
I’m always intrigued by winners, because winning is something that I haven’t often done. My L’s completely dwarf my W’s, a fucking needle in a haystack type shit. Okay needles, because self-deprecation doesn’t become her, but hey. And I’m only talking career wise, because I think I’m a fabulous human. But anyway, I often watch sports not just for the play, but to see the anatomy of a winner—like their perseverance, the effort that they give, their resilience, and sometimes you can see all that in the matter of one match or one game.
Okay, I just went to the bathroom and almost completely lost my train of thought. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve noticed a lot of winners don’t know how to lose. Now, you might be saying, of course they know how to lose that’s why they’re winners. I guess what I mean is they have defined themselves, and others have defined them so much by winning, they lose themselves.
I was watching another HBO, I think it was, documentary, some time ago, where Michael Phelps and a bunch of other athletes were talking about how they went into depression after their winning season or moment was over.
And I just find it interesting, how we are all—whether we do it or not—always pushed to win in life, be it by your parents, a teacher, society or yourself, winning above all else is the goal.
But…
You may be wondering why I have the lyrics from a Miki Howard love song quoted above, because this post has nothing to do with being in love under new management. But I do so love that song, especially when those first couple of lines come in after the horns. And the message from those first to lines (the quote above) can be extrapolated to this situation here.
I added that quote above because in those two lines I was referring to myself. Like I said, I’ve racked up a lot of losses, and the thing about not winning is that it teaches you to value yourself for who you are, or as Mr. Rogers would say, just you’re being you.
Now that’s not to say that winning isn’t a good thing and that people should strive to lose. Oh, no! Nor is that to say that I don’t want to win, or that I won’t work toward winning, and like I said, I have a few, I definitely have a few. But even if none of that ever comes, there is still a part of me that will always believe that I’m all that and then some, and nobody can tell me different, and I think everyone else should feel the same way too.
So anyway, this whole idea of losing and failure is really something I want to talk about more here. So look out for hat, but that’s all for now, ‘cause ya girl is still pooped from that Vegas drive.
*Added 7/1/2021* I wrote this late night when I was sleepy and tired. It’s all over the place. I should have probably rewritten it, but hey, no one’s perfect. But make no mistake, I’m rooting for Serena to win, not just 24, but 25. I really think she can do it. I guess my point is winning, or losing is just a subset of you, it’s not the entirety of who a person is. And I just think it’s unfortunate when people are reduced to just their wins or their loses, especially their loses, but definitely both–we are so much more than either. Hope that’s a bit of clarification. Talk soon.
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