Just before sitting in my spot, stuffed between two strangers, I surveyed my row.
“How many people are supposed to be in this row?” I blurted out, irritated, to the heavy-set woman sitting next to me.
“Girl, a lot,” she said.
That wasn’t good enough for me.
While everyone else was enjoying the show, I sat my food down on the little ledge in front of me, untouched, even though I was tre hungry, and pulled out my phone to what? Look up the seating chart. That’s right I’m that chick; I was ready to expose the cheat who snuck down from a higher row and tell on they ass. But, as things go, this proved not to be such an easy task.
I just got a cellphone again about a year ago, after not having one for more than two years before that. That phone was an iphone 4s; Now, it’s an iphone 7. As you can see, I stay up with the times. Plus, my carrier is one of those cheap ones (I only pay like $25 a month). To top it all off, I’m not so savvy with using it. When the girl at the entrance had to scan the QR code for my ticket, she asked: “Can you make you’re phone brighter?” to which I replied, “How do you do that?” Instead of wasting time explaining, she just quickly did it for me.
This is what I was working with in my trivial pursuit.
To catch this culprit, I decided to pull up the seating chart from the Hollywood Bowl site, which was taking forever to load, and hard to navigate on my small screen. I tried accessing the chart through the listing of that night’s show, but the “buy now” button which led to it was no longer there.
Frustrated, but undeterred, I eventually was able to pull up the seating chart from the following night’s show. I had already counted how many people were in my row – there were nine from what I could see, not including me, so a total of 10. I counted how many people were supposed to be in my row according to the seating chart, and it was 13.
There I was, thinking that someone had infiltrated my row (don’t you love how I’ve claimed the row as mine) when we were actually three people short. Two more people later joined the row on the other end, which didn’t affect my seat, rather it let me know someone further down the row was taking up extra space, but that’s neither here nor there.
What is here and there (whatever that means) is that in classic know-it-all fashion, not only had I audibly implied that there may be people in our row that didn’t belong, but I had my phone out, with its bright-ass light illuminating the area around me, checking the seating chart in plain view of those sitting next to me. I even leaned forward to count the people in my row. I was missing the show, my pizza was getting cold. All that just to be proven wrong.
Turns out I consumed a piece of humble pie before I ever touched my pizza or cookie. In that moment it occurred to me that instead of being upset that I was sitting next to two fat people, their weight, notwithstanding, would have been of no consequence if I were not so portly myself. Plus there was a show going on, on a beautiful, chilly night, in such a charming setting. I had a choice to make: I could sit there with an attitude because we were packed like sardines, or I could enjoy the show. I chose the latter.
It was time to eat.
I was excited to eat. You don’t even understand: this was going to be my cheat meal of sorts. Wait, I don’t like that term. This was going to be my indulgence meal. Yeah, that sounds better. In an effort to get healthier, I’d been staying away from foods like pizza and cookies for almost a month and exercising almost every day. So I was really looking forward to coming to the Hollywood Bowl and making it an experience: good show, good food.
I scooted to the edge of my seat, closer to the railing where I rested my pizza, lowered my mask and started with my cookie. Though it wasn’t warm as I expected, not bad for a chocolate chip cookie. I mean it wasn’t the best chocolate chip cookie, but it was far from the worse. Like it wasn’t as good as say a Mrs. Field’s or my favorite a Double Tree chocolate chip cookie (Nope, scratch that. My new favorite chocolate chip cookies are the ones baked by me, a little something I picked up during this pandemic with impressive results, but anyway, back to the story), and it didn’t have nuts. I love nuts in a chocolate chip cookie. Nevertheless, I made short work of it. Gobbled up the whole thing.
Next it was on to the pizza. Even though it was quite dark with hardly any lighting, when I opened that pizza box and beheld what was inside, it didn’t look like a margherita pizza to me. More like a plain ‘ole cheese pizza. Still, I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe this was something new. Something different. Their unique interpretation on that simple yet sophisticated classic pizza. But no, it was just cheese. They didn’t even bother to throw in the basil. And the crust? It was so hard it was like an elongated dense crouton, lining the circumference of the pizza. I didn’t even attempt it.
All of a sudden, I was upset again. I had the mind to go down there and demand a refund, but I wasn’t trying to do that hike again. So I ate it or whatever – not the crust though, not the crust.
I just don’t understand. On their website they boast of having food inspired by James Beard Award winning chefs. Instead, the pizza tasted like it was whipped up by Monsieur Boyardee (check the “Ratatouille” reference).
Speaking of a Disney reference, even though I’m not a big Disney fan, one thing I can say about them is they have great food. I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad meal a Disneyland. I mean my meals there weren’t all the best thing I’ve ever eaten, but they were never bad. People used to actually come there just to eat. I think that’s the type of culinary goals the Hollywood Bowl should aim for. You need good food to compliment the concerts, to take the experience over the top. I don’t know, maybe their other offerings are delicious. One things nice, you can bring your own food.
Speaking of concerts, that is, after all, the main draw—the primary reason I was there, and it did not disappoint. The venue itself is just gorgeous. Once you walk in it’s almost like you’re transported into an enchanted forest. There’s nothing reminding you that there’s a bustling city just outside.
Then there is the bowl itself, that rainbowlike structure, under which the orchestra performs (is that why they call it the Hollywood Bowl?). I’ve seen it a million times on TV and in pictures, but when I walked into the amphitheater for the first time, I was like whoa, there it is.
And then there’s the acoustics, it produces such beautiful crystal-clear sounds, helping me to refocus my attention from what I didn’t like and be present, in the moment, taking in what I did.
So after my pizza was gone, that’s exactly what I did. I sat back and relaxed. I cheered on John Williams, who at 89-years-old is still going strong. I bopped my head to the songs, and watched the movie clips that accompanied them. I listened to the kid behind me ask his dad did he know what BFG stood for as excerpts from that movie played while we listened to the score. I heard the kid proudly declare big friendly giant, after the father admitted he didn’t know. I loved seeing the white fluorescent cross on the top of the hill, to the right of the stage, just outside the grounds. I realized that alone or with someone else, good food or not, it was up to me to make the most of this experience.
After the last note was played, and the applause ceased its roared towards the stage, the crowd’s mass exodus began. Again, I didn’t know where I was going, so I just followed the crowd. Eventually I found my way back to the bus that would take me home…errr, to the parking lot, and my solo evening at the Hollywood Bowl was over.
Not too long ago, I watched Vogue’s 73 Questions video featuring Tracee Ellis Ross on YouTube. One of the questions they asked her was what was her favorite place in L.A. and she answered her home and the Hollywood Bowl.
I can see why. Of course, it’s a different dynamic when you go alone. As I rode the bus back I was thinking, I’m never doing this again. But then I got home, replayed some of the video I took of the musicians playing on the stage. And just like that I started scrolling through the upcoming events on the Hollywood Bowl’s website, seeing which one I wanted to attend.
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