Writing is a constant. Like even when I’m not typing, or engaging in the occasional taking up of paper and pen, my mind is constantly going with ideas and things to ponder. Like the Will Smith Slap that I wrote about last week, clearly that wasn’t on my agenda (until it was) but everything is a trigger – a tweet that I read, a tv show, driving down the street – none is off limits, yet I need to know my limits and know when to tune the noise out and do something of no literary consequence.
I know, ice cream!
Now I know what you must be thinking. You’re probably like, “but aren’t you writing, right now?”
Yes, yes I am. But this writing is of no consequence to me. It is at the most frivolous level. It’s just ice cream. I don’t have to think. I can lay down the mantel of trying to be a know-it-all when it comes to human behavior, and just eat.
And this Brooklyn based company called VanLeeuwen has come out with some interesting flavors that I just had to try, because if you don’t know I love ice cream. Out of all the desserts out there, there’s just something about the classic ice cream and cake. No cake this time though, just ice cream.
VanLeeuwen also has some California locations throughout greater Los Angeles, I just haven’t gotten around to popping into one yet. However, yesterday when they finally released seven limited flavors exclusively at Wal-Mart, I couldn’t resist high-tailing it on over, and I picked up four flavors: Royal Wedding Cake, Planet Earth, Mac & Cheese and Pizza. I don’t know why I capitalized those, but anyway.
They’ve been teasing these for a little while now, and I’ve seen a few people testing them out on the internet, but every time I’ve gone into a Wal-Mart before yesterday, there was nothing there. Then yesterday rolled around (I guess it was the official roll-out) and I saw their post on Instagram stating that the ice cream was now in stores.
My local Wal-Mart had a freezer display case full of them right up front. It’s $5 a container, $4.98 to be exact, before taxes, if you live in a place where they tax food. I say per container because they cheat you out of 2oz from a pint just like Haagen Dazs. I don’t know when Haagen Dazs turned their pints into 14oz containers. I just noticed one day when I was eating one that I was finished mighty fast, not to mention the container looked small, and sure enough it said 14oz on it. Thank goodness Ben & Jerry’s still gives you a full pint, but anyway.
Five dollars is expensive for a little carton of ice cream, though cheaper than some other ones you see in the store like Jeni’s, and McConnell’s, and some of those non-dairy ones that proliferate the freezer section.
The price of ice cream, in general, has shot up in recent years. I remember not so long ago, maybe four or five years ago, after a long hard day at work, I would lift my spirits with a scoop of ice cream from Baskin Robbins for $3, and I thought that was expensive for a scoop. Then about four months ago, I paid a visit to my local Baskin Robbins, this time for two scoops and it was $6. Two scoops are usually just $1 more than a single, so they’d raised the price. I dropped in again a month after that, and two scoops was now a whopping $7.
Now don’t get me wrong, I like Baskin Robbins. Their cool or whatever, but they are not premium ice cream. I watched a whole documentary on ice cream, and it taught me what makes ice cream premium, something to do with the butter fat content, and Baskin Robbins doesn’t have enough to qualify. They are like a step above Rite-Aid ice cream. For those of you on the East Coast, Rite-Aids in California serve ice cream.
I remember the first time I went to New York and I saw a Rite-Aid so I went in to get some ice cream. I searched high and low in that store, but an ice cream counter was nowhere to be found. I thought perhaps it was just that one. Then years later when I lived in New York, I made a point to visit several stores and that’s when I realized they just don’t have it out there. Later, I tweeted them about it, and they replied. I forgot why they said it wasn’t there, but, yeah, yet another reason why California reigns supreme. Just kidding, I love you New York…I just love California more.
Anyway, what was I saying before I went on that sort of relevant tangent?…Oh, yes, the high price of ice cream. In the last seven or eight years, at least that I’ve noticed, creating artisanal (whatever that means), not gourmet, by the way, artisanal ice cream has become a thing. Back in the day when they had high-priced ice cream they called it gourmet.
Now it’s artisanal to reflect the sustainability measures many of them claim to take in producing it. It’s like farm to table ice cream. They use the highest quality ingredients and organic whenever possible. There’s also vegan options. I say this with a bit of sarcasm, yet there is so much truth in it that I wonder if it reads right. Well anyway…
All these things are used to justify sky high prices for ice cream. I’m talking $7 a scoop, and $13 a pint at some of these places – ridiculous (By the way, if you’re just meeting me, there’s something you should know, I’m cheap as fuck.). If you go into a VanLeeuwen scoop shop, that’s probably what you need to be prepared to pay. So by those standards $5 for 2oz shy of a pint, isn’t so bad. But what does it taste like…
Okay, here we go, the moment you all have been waiting for. The taste test. You can read the descriptions of each one for yourselves, I’m going to tell you how it actually tasted.
First up:
Royal Wedding Cake:
If you like lemon, you’ll love this flavor. It’s like lemon flavored ice cream with birthday cake flavored cake and a hint of floral essence in the background. I guess that’s that elderberry flower, whatever that is. You know how rose water smells? Well, that’s what this tastes like. It was like hints of that rosewater smell but on your tongue instead of in your nose.
I enjoyed this flavor. I’m not big on lemon flavored ice cream, so it wouldn’t be my go to, but since it was here I ate it. I started on it when I first brought it home around three in the afternoon, then put it away and finished it around three in the morning while watching “Field of Dreams.”
Overall, pretty good.
Next:
Mac & Cheese
I was a bit scared to try this flavor, not gonna lie. I’m not the biggest fan of macaroni and cheese in a box, however when you add milk, butter and a lot of pepper I can deal, still, in ice cream I don’t know. Turns out, it surprisingly wasn’t too bad. It’s not really mac and cheese ice cream, it’s just cheese ice cream – there’s no mac in it. I saw it being made on the internet, and it’s just their ice cream base was the Kraft mac and cheese powder loaded into it. I think it would be kinda cool if it actually had macaroni noodles in it. You know, they could make it with sugar instead of salt. This is a sweet ice cream by the way, not savory like the real mac and cheese. So if you put sugar and cream in that cheese powder, this is what you get. It’s just like how they sweeten cream cheese to make cheesecake and danishes, that’s how they sweetened this.
Next:
Planet Earth
I picked this one up purely because of the look. It’s blue ice cream with green cookie pieces in it. The blue ice cream is supposed to be spirulina and almond flavored, but the whole thing just tasted like cough syrup – yuck. It was giving me NyQuil, Robitussin realness up in here, and I wasn’t here for it. But all hope is not lost for this flavor. I think they could improve it by adding some coconut flavor to the blue ice cream to balance out that harsh after taste that was downright offensive. I was like do they think I have COVID, the flu? Like what? Why am I eating medicine?
So that one was a no for me.
Finally:
Pizza
This was another flavor that I was apprehensive about. I mean I love pizza, but I don’t see how you can do it in an ice cream. But, they did it and the did it well…well, the only thing is, it doesn’t taste like pizza. It tastes like cheesecake ice cream with graham cracker crust chunks and a sweet tomato jam swirl throughout. I made short work of this one, in less then five minutes I was done, though I didn’t completely finish it, because when I got to the bottom there was a thick layer of that tomato jam, and I couldn’t take much of it by itself. I needed it in small portions throughout the cheesecake-tasting ice cream only.
Another thing I really liked about the ice cream is how rich and creamy it is. On the contain it says the use extra eggs which is why they call it French ice cream, and you can really tell. Once you let it melt a bit, so that it’s not rock hard, it has a really nice consistency.
So there you have it, my little mental escape from my normal writing…and it’s almost midnight so I better post this.
Bye.
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