Since 2020 I’ve been telling myself that I’m going to be in my Me Season. I think they call “season” “era” now, but I’ma stick with season until further notice. Because the slang is slanging. I mean they switch it up so fast nowadays. Remember bomb? That was around for a good 20 years or so. It did start off as “the bomb”, then somewhere along the way the “the” was dropped and it just became bomb – still, it was around for a minute. Now just when I discover a new word and learn how to use it properly, they got a newer one out. I can’t.
I said all that to say incorporating “era” into my vocabulary will have to wait. I’m still in my “season” season, and that’s that.
Anyway, as I was saying before I went off on that tangent, in 2020 I vowed to go into my Me Season, basically a time in my life that I’m dedicating to putting myself first no matter what. And well, it’s four years later and I don’t know that that ever happened. Matter-of-fact, I do know that it didn’t happen. I’m getting better at it, though – especially now that I’m doing this self-publishing thing.
When it comes to publishing my book, I seriously have to be fiercely for me while I travel this costly road of uncertainty. Still, I have to remember to put that in its proper context even, knowing it’s super important, but it’s not everything.
I went to church in person today, for the first time in 10 months, and toward the end of the service the pastor mentioned how important it is to serve. Like as much as we are called to a life full of our own hopes and dreams, we are also called to serve others. It’s funny, because lately I’ve been feeling that in my spirit as well, how I want to start volunteering again, but I’m not sure where or for whom. What’s more, it’s hard to do the necessary mental adjustment of having a heart for service, while also being in my Me Season. I kinda fear that if I start actively volunteering I will slack off on my goals and dreams in an effort to help someone else. But, perhaps instead of competing, those two desires actually complement one another.
So anyway, that’s that. I’m ready to serve. Perhaps I’ll serve at church. Perhaps some other organization. I don’t know. I think I’m going to start by going to church every week this month. That’s not service, but just discipline – doing something regularly for free: practice. I’m going to shoot for the early service too. Then by the beginning of April I can decide where I want to serve. In the meantime, I’ll be working on cultivating a heart for service without fear of being taken advantage of.
Ah, what an epiphany. I think that’s why I may be afraid to serve in my Me Season (I don’t know why I’m capitalizing that). It’s because I’m afraid of giving an inch and not putting up boundaries that will stop someone from taking a mile. Ah ha, another epiphany: maybe my Me Season will stop me from doing too much, while my service season will keep me humble…We’ll see.
Okay, really short this week. That’s all.
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