It’s been a minute since I’ve mentioned anything about my book, or novella because it’s short – it’s quite short. I’d have to go back and check to see when the last time was and I don’t want to do that right now. But if the question is am I still going to self-publish my book, the answer is yes, a resounding yes. What’s more, hopefully I can do so this year. Perhaps that’s being too ambitious, but I don’t give a fuck at this point. The worse I can do is fail and I’ve already done that, so hey, what’s another go at it.
Truth is, when I initially embarked on this self-publishing journey around this time last year, I had no idea what I was doing. Truth, truth is, I still kinda don’t. I’m still incredibly new to this and in an industry that has some variables, I’m trying to figure out what’s the best way forward for me. And truth, truth, truth is, I ran out of money. I had a short window to get everything done, based on my research, before the cash ran out. But my research was not comprehensive and other things sprung up that I had not accounted for, like my editor not being very good or editors turning down my work. Just the whole vetting editors process in general was kinda of ambiguous to begin with. You’re essentially spending a lot of money to take a leap of faith.
The same is true of the book cover artist. That gave me the most anxiety because it was really hard to find an artist who had the skillset to do what I wanted within my budget. And even when I increased my budget in an effort to work with professionals instead of the students I’d been reaching out to, turns out the professionals didn’t want to work with me.
Funnily enough, one of the main reasons I decided to go the self-publishing route was to avoid all the rejection the comes with publishing the traditional way, only to discover that there is a whole lotta rejection in self-publishing as well. That is if you want to produce a book that rivals something that would come from a publishing house. I want a nice clean book, free from errors, well aligned and a beautiful cover. Of course the story inside has to be great, but I’m pretty confident about that. I know there’s always a possibility that readers won’t agree. That would not be a good feeling. No matter what though, I will always love this story.
When I realized I wasn’t going to make the book happen last year, it was so discouraging, so depressing. And when I get like that regarding a particular issue, it usually takes me a very long time to come back from it, if I don’t abandon it all together. Remember, I wrote this book over 20 years ago, and only in the last few years or so have I decided to revisit it.
I’m not going to wait 20 years this time. While I’m still out of money and will have to wait a minute before I can finance this thing, there are still things I can do for free in the meantime. I can reedit it myself – there’s always something to find. I can do research on editors and book cover designers and make a list of who I would like to work with so when the time comes I can just contact them. I can create a budget and do research on printing. I can come up with marketing ideas and how I’m going to get the word out. I can create a rough draft of a realistic timeline. Finally, I can keep the faith and not get discouraged, be my own biggest cheerleader.
Be sure to check back for updates on my progress. In the meantime, if you’re looking for a good story, just come back here.
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